


Gold Dust Woman

by KristaBallColumbo



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: 70s, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Lesbian Sex, Light Angst, Loss of Control, Multi, Smut, Tribadism, russian katya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-05-27 05:26:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15017615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KristaBallColumbo/pseuds/KristaBallColumbo
Summary: Her wandering thoughts were interrupted by a gentle touch on her shoulder. She took a second to play her personal game of “which one of the needy wives could it be” before turning around. Her guess was Alaska, but when she turned around, she realized her guess was wrong. It was Tatianna and someone who she definitely did not know.





	1. Stand Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Trixya fanfic. I don't ship Brian and Brian but I wholeheartedly get off on their drag personas being a thing. This is explicit and I'm still surprised I'm sharing this... Also, you may see a theme with the titles.  
> Please Leave comments so I know how to polish up the next chapter.  
> I will add tags as the story progresses.

Chapter 1: Stand Back

 

“How can you be Russian and not use your Russian accent? I deserve that accent all the time,” Tatianna teased as Katya grabbed a beer from a nearby cooler. She stared deeply into her eyes and she knew she had Tatianna zoned into her, despite her husband being a mere 3 feet away. Katya leaned in, sensing the other woman’s body tensing up as she inched closer, and whispered, “The same way your body is always hungry for me and yet I never hear a lick of a Hungarian accent.” With that, Katya started wheezing with laughter and flailing one of her hands about as the other gripped tightly around the beer. She was always the first to laugh at her own joke, despite how it was received by anyone else. This time it was actually a good one, too bad the rest of the neighbors couldn’t hear it. Tatianna rolled her eyes and grinned, a struggling attempt to keep her composure as heads turned to look in their direction. She couldn’t deny Katya’s words, even if they were made to be funny. Her body was hungry for her right at that moment. Looking at her, all cheekbones, red lips, and perfect teeth, Tatianna knew that Katya had her wrapped around her little finger… every one of the women staring alongside their husbands felt the same way.

 

The neighbors loved planning these get-togethers during the summer, especially for their children. Technology was becoming rampant in the 70s and every adult with kids started shifting their worries from drugs to the brainwashing that will result from the “robots” that were being shelved and sold at a rapid speed. Instead of spending the summer days indoors staring at their new colored television sets or listening to heavy metal on their cassette players, kiddie pools were thrown onto lawns, cold drinks were stacked in coolers and everyone spent their time at a neighbor’s house or at the nearby lake. This weekend Katya’s hosting the neighborhood party and everyone pretended to be surprised when she volunteered to hold it at her house. Being a single woman, with no children did not really go hand in hand with hosting daytime parties for suburban couples and their kids, but there she was, playing the hostess and also playing her role as the friendly girl next door.

 

She left Tatianna’s side and made her way around the house, greeting everyone and offering to get them whatever they wanted. The twin girls, known as Cracker and Aquaria, who lived down the street, begged her to sneak them beer, promising that they’d owe her one. She was only 32, but she remembered how annoyed she used to be as a teenager, who had her license but couldn’t drink a beer. She gave them a manic grin that made them laugh and cracked open one each for them, shooing them to the back porch, out of their parents’ sight. What they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them; come to think of it, her life was like a movie loosely based on that expression. She smiled to herself as she watched her friends coupled up with their husbands, babies in some of their hands and wedding rings on their fingers. _What if her life had taken a different turn? What if she had married the closeted gay guy that proposed to her on her 21st birthday? What if she had run away with that girl from Trinidad and Tobago who promised her the island life; sand between her toes, red hibiscus flower tucked into her thick, blond waves and coconut jelly for breakfast?_

 

Her wandering thoughts were interrupted by a gentle touch on her shoulder. She took a second to play her personal game of “which one of the needy wives could it be” before turning around. Her guess was Alaska, but when she turned around, she realized her guess was wrong. It was Tatianna and someone who she definitely did not know. “Yekaterina, this is Trixie, she and her boyfriend just moved in the empty house next to yours,” Tatianna started the introduction as Katya reached out her hand for Trixie to shake. Her need for control started to kick in, she needed Trixie to feel it. She stood a little straighter and held Trixie’s gaze as they shook hands. Trixie looked down at her intently. Her platform heels gave her a few inches over Katya, although Katya knew that without them she’d still be above her. She ran her eyes over her long, thick legs slowly before she met her gaze again. “Trixie, this is Yekaterina,” Tatianna continued, “the lovely owner of this house and the hostess of this party.” Trixie continued to stare, unconsciously still holding Katya’s hand. Katya smirked as she brushed her thumb over Trixie’s, who pulled away too quickly at the realization. Tatianna gave Katya a knowing stare before she left them. 

 

Trixie’s look was a sharp contrast to her own. Katya looked like a Russian Stevie Nicks in a lacy, black prairie dress with red embroidered flowers, dark eye makeup, and deep red lipstick. She knew she looked witchy and it was the only style she would go for. Some tried to be polite and called it eccentric but Katya much rather the former description. Trixie, on the other hand, was the essence of what the 70s flower-child looked like. Her psychedelic bell-sleeved dress cut mid-thigh and her height and curvy body made the length of the dress seem obscene. Her hair was a waterfall of blond waves with a crown of daisies resting gently around her head. Her make up screamed Barbie™, all blue eyeshadow, white liner and pink lips. Katya allowed herself one more unapologetic stare at her body. She noticed Trixie’s toes shifted to point at each other under her gaze, like a small child who’d just been caught, preparing to be reprimanded. _Is she nervous?_

 

“I usually like to get free drugs if I’m gonna be eye-fucked like this, Yekaterina” she huffed, pretending to be exasperated. Katya stared wild-eyed at her before smirking again. Trixie pronounced her name perfectly. Also, if it were anyone else who made that comment at her, she would have thrashed around, wheezing until she was out of breath. Not with Trixie though; not now… not yet. “You may call me Katya, and please forgive me, I wasn’t really prepared for all of this” Katya gestured towards Trixie’s entire body, “Excuse my eyes for being too eager to take it all in.” 

 

“Take what all in?” asked a man who gingerly approached them and entered their conversation, wrapping an arm loosely around Trixie’s waist. “Hi, baby, we were just talking about the number of neighbors at the party. Isn’t it fun that they’re all here together?” Trixie returned her gaze to Katya with a forced smile on her face. She was going to be easier than Katya thought. “Oh, where are my manners?” she continued, “Katya, this is my boyfriend Firkus. Firkus, this is Yekaterina, the hostess.” Katya smiled politely and firmly shook his hand. He winced. Trixie noticed. He was a tall nerdy guy with circle wireframe glasses, a ‘pornstach’ and an afro. He wore a brown turtleneck under a brown fringe vest and brown bellbottom pants. The flip-flops on his dirty feet made Katya think he only put them on to come over. Katya wanted to make a bet that he walked around barefoot more often than not but decided against it. She excused herself after getting them some drinks and went back to socializing. She could see Trixie staring in her direction ever so often and decided to let this one wait longer than the rest. Katya was just as eager to know her but she had too much control to let her in too close too quickly. 

 

Everyone was having a good time in the mid-July sun. The babies are not crying, much to Katya’s delight, the children are running around the yard and the teenagers are all huddled in a corner under the jacaranda tree, looking as mischievous as ever. Katya thinks they’re planning where they could smoke their joints. She would love to take a toke but she also really wanted to lay off the drugs for a bit. She started towards Alaska instead of the teenagers and noticed Alaska’s husband, Sharon, staring at her intently. She knew he had a sweet eye for her and she could feel his gaze on her even when she stopped making eye contact. “If I didn’t know any better I would assume your husband either wants me to have you or he wants to have me instead,” Katya whispered softly. Alaska gasped at the rawness of her statement and turned around to look at her smug husband who was still peering at them through his square-framed glasses. His platinum blonde hair (always neatly combed in a side path), strong, dimpled chin and intense, lidded eyes sometimes made Katya feel like she was his prey. She particularly practiced her dominance around him, even though it seemed that that’s what intrigued him. In another era of her life, she would have had him at her disposal.

 

Alaska turned back to face her and sourly stated, “He constantly says that you remind him of him. He says that you’re the type who wouldn’t settle for anything less than what you considered perfection.” Katya nodded in agreement and peered over Alaska’s shoulder to raise her beer at Sharon. He winked and mirrored her action. If only he knew the truth... If only he really knew who she was... “I need your help tonight,” Alaska whispered as if she was spreading gossip about the person closest to them. “Not tonight,” Katya firmly replied to her for the second time that day. The first time Alaska was rejected, she stormed off like a spoiled child. “Alaska,” Katya continued, “If you ask me that question one more time, knowing that I’m busy after this party, I’d assume you’re disrespecting me. You, as well as most of our friends here, know that I do not take disrespect very well.” Katya forced a smile and gave Alaska a look that she should recognize; a look that stopped any further attempts at challenging her. She needed to know her place. Alaska gave a short nod and looked away from Katya’s stare to regain composure.

 

As much as Katya likes respect, control, and obedience, she savors desperation, impatience, and defiance. It fuels her. Alaska gave one last smile and walked over to her husband who gave her a chaste kiss on her arrival. Katya needed a cigarette. She walked to the back porch hoping no one was there so she can have some time alone. She was becoming socially exhausted. She padded her way through the lawn and as she bent the corner, she’s met with Trixie’s deep brown eyes and her playful grin. “I love when I’m thinking about someone and they suddenly appear, Yekaterina,” Trixie giggles as Katya sat opposite her, their knees brushing together momentarily. Katya takes note of the way she keeps saying her full name. “Today is just full of surprises, isn’t it?” Katya stated it more with regards to herself than Trixie. She took her pack of cigarettes and lighter out of her bra, lighting one as she scoped Trixie’s legs through the puff of smoke. Trixie noticed and crossed her legs, the movement hiking up her brightly colored dress to the top of her thighs. Trixie doesn’t stop staring at Katya either, her eyes darting from Katya’s full, red lips to her delicate, yet strong hands.

Trixie bites her bottom lip before smiling again, bouncing her crossed legs so that her platforms lightly graze Katya’s knee repeatedly. She’s challenging her and Katya isn’t sure if she likes it. She pulls on her cigarette, inhaling deeply, and holds Trixie’s ankle softly to stop her bouncing leg. “What do you do Trixie?” Katya starts the conversation. “Your hands are so soft,” Trixie smiled before she continued, “I’m a songwriter and guitarist. I mostly write indie, folk and country music though.”

 

“What about Firkus? Does he walk barefoot for a living?” Katya joked and Trixie rolled her eyes playfully. “No,” she replied, “He’s an instrumentalist. He tours with different bands, playing whatever instrument they need him to.” Trixie shifts in her chair, her dress hiking up even higher and resumes bouncing her leg, causing slight friction against Katya’s skin once again. This time Katya shivers at the unexpected contact and finds herself smiling. “What about you, Katya, what do you do?”

 

“I’m a secretary at a law firm. I prefer the term assistant but you know men. They never respect the hands that feed them. Well, I should say the hands that assist them, in this case.” Trixie squeals a screeching laugh after Katya’s statement and Katya didn’t know what warranted such an obnoxious laugh. She found herself wheezing, her own laughter unfolding, which only spurred Trixie on more. “Wha… What? What are you laughing at?” Katya managed to ask while catching her breath. “Nothing, you just used ‘law’ and ‘case’ in the same statement and I lost it!” It wasn’t even funny. “Are you high?” Katya questioned her further while wiping a tear from her own cheek. “Oh honey, I don’t even do drugs. I’m just here to give you hippy on acid realness, honey,” Trixie replied as she threw up the peace sign. Katya laughed again, “I get that! I don’t do spells and potions; I’m just here to give you full witch fantasy, mama.”

 

After a couple more hours, the party came to an end. Trixie and Firkus disappeared before Katya could say goodbye. Alaska and Sharon both gave her kisses on her cheek before walking back to their home. Everyone else left after hugging and thanking her for hosting this week and a few of the wives made offers to stay with her to help clean up. She didn’t need help tonight though, especially as she knew their intentions. Tatianna, Cracker, and Aquaria stayed back to help her clean up but the twin really just wanted another beer before they met up with their friends. She gave them another and allowed them to leave after most of the tidying up was done. She finished clearing the kitchen, slowly this time, and actively ignored Tatianna, whose eyes followed her every move. She was silently waiting for Katya to tell her what to do. She knew to be patient and not to be too eager with Katya by now, so she just stood there, squirming in her uncomfortable heels and the tight waistband of her red and white gingham dress. When Katya brushed against her side to put the last few dishes in the overhead cupboard, she could feel her stomach tighten with anticipation. The seconds felt like hours and she started to feel irritable in her makeup and stockings. As if Katya could sense her sweating palms and hear her screaming thoughts, she broke the silence, “Go to the basement, you know what to do.”


	2. Rihannon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She could see Firkus moving around in the house, probably getting an early start at unpacking his and Trixie’s things. She wondered if Trixie was still asleep, her curvy body wrapped in their sheets, blonde hair spread over the pillows. Does she sleep naked, like Katya sometimes does, with the cool air on her shoulders and a heat between her legs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! Thank you for your feedback on the last chapter, it really means a lot to me that you are reading my mess XD I hope you enjoy this one and I promise to have up the 3rd chapter next week.

Chapter 2: Rihannon

 

The weekend passed by quickly after the party and before Katya could register it, it was Monday morning; the start of another work week. Her eyes were open, darting around the dark room, but she couldn’t seem to move from beneath the warm, velvet duvet. She knew her home like the back of her hand and started thinking that she never wanted to know the feeling of maneuvering around it without her sight, despite her unwavering memory. She would much rather lose her voice than any other sense; her toys already knew how to read her touch and her stares well enough without needing words, and it wouldn’t hurt to not have to speak to any of the men she had to ramble to all day at work. She slowly turned her head to check the time on her radio clock, 15 minutes had already passed since she woke up; it felt like only seconds. Her mind runs away often and she has to mentally remind herself that she should try being where her feet are instead of wandering away from reality all the time. She didn’t want to be a dreamer. She would much rather live the fantasies she could have that dream about the things she couldn’t have. In one motion, she took a deep breath and swiftly hoisted her body into a sitting position, threw the mustard duvet off of her and hopped out of the high bed. Her feet hit the soft carpet, waking the rest of her tired body up with the impact.

 

She was exhausted, more than usual. If she got away with missing morning yoga for a few days last week, she sure as hell couldn’t skip it this morning. Every part of her body needed a soak and a stretch. She grabbed her yoga mat, tied her tangled hair up and headed to the back porch to get her day started. The morning sun hadn’t even fully woken up yet, the birds refused to chirp so early for her. It was silent, gray and chilly outside, just the way she liked it while she stretched her sore body and held her poses. She allowed her mind to go free this time and roam as far away as it wanted; _the feeling of being engulfed by a cool body of water, the rush she felt the first time she did cocaine, the regret when she experienced the crash, the taste of her morning coffee mixed with a cigarette (a taste she’s yearning for now), the memory of her first boyfriend, the heartbreak from the only woman she loved, her fear of commitment, the longing to see Trixie again_ … “Ебать ... Не кукла,” she whispered, erasing the thought of Trixie. She opened her eyes just in time to see the sunrise. She stood up and raised her head to the sky, feeling the soft heat prickling her skin from the sun’s rays as she exhaled and headed to the kitchen. 

 

She sipped her coffee slowly, leaning against the island, looking out the window. Katya had a clear view of the house Trixie and Firkus now owned. It was similar to everyone’s ranch-style homes. Katya remembered the day she moved in and how disappointed she felt when she noticed all the houses were the same, both inside and out. Every year since, she did some renovation to the inside of her home to make it more of her own. Now, the internal structure was more contemporary and every room made her feel like she was surrounded by warmth and familiarity. Her obscure and gory art pieces hung proudly in every room, deep red and blue drapes hung over her windows, yellow, gray and white rugs cushioned the floors and problem patterned throw pillows littered her sofa and her beds. No one noticed her plain grey walls and dark wooden floors when so many colors gave life to every room; especially in a time when color was the only thing that drew people’s attention. 

 

Despite loathing the idea of cooking, her kitchen was one of her favorite places in the house. The whitewashed cabinets and dark wooden floors were accented with bright yellow appliances and mismatched dishes she collected over the years from every place she visited. Her inheritance from her parents usually went untouched, but she did put a lot of love ( _money_ ) into the kitchen. She wanted domesticity with someone, and from her experiences, the kitchen is where that usually happens. In her fairytale fantasies, she would wake up and find her dream girl in her kitchen, making her meals and baking her desserts but she quickly erased the thought, almost as soon as it came. She rinsed her mug and took one more look out of the window. She could see Firkus moving around in the house, probably getting an early start at unpacking his and Trixie’s things. She wondered if Trixie was still asleep, her curvy body wrapped in their sheets, blonde hair spread over the pillows. _Does she sleep naked, like Katya sometimes does, with the cool air on her shoulders and a heat between her legs?_ She mentally reprimanded herself for thinking about Trixie so much and left the kitchen to get dressed. Her shoulders and lower back were aching as she stretched upward on her toes while walking to the bathroom; the raw feeling making her smile as she remembered Tatianna.

…

Tatianna was one of those women who seemingly had no limits to how they felt pleasure. She relished in pain and begged to cum over and over again, paying no mind to her oversensitivity and shaky legs. She loved when Katya pushed her further and further every time, making her beg for things she wouldn’t imagine begging her husband for, wanting Katya’s whole fist to fill her up while her tongue circled her clit. She was shameless and loved being treated like a desperate whore. The things her body needed in order to be satisfied always took Katya a little by surprise, especially when Tatianna refused to use the safe word when Katya thought she was at her limit. Saturday night, after the party, was no exception. After meeting Trixie, Tatianna knew Katya was losing her cool, wanting to play with her new doll too soon. Tatianna wanted it all; the pent-up desires she knew Katya had for the shiny, new toy she was introduced to that day. She begged Katya to use her, to imagine Trixie, to close her eyes and pretend she was the tall blonde with the hourglass shape.

 

“So you want me to use you, is that what you’re saying?” Katya walked in slow circles around her, looking hungrily at her naked body, ready to give Tatianna whatever she wanted. She can see the goosebumps on her arms and breasts, the shine of sweat glistening on her neck and forehead. She wanted to lick it. “Yes, fuck me like you want to fuck her,” she replied, Katya grinned, her mind running on Trixie’s thick legs and ass. “I want to ruin her in the best way possible. I want to see her pretty little asshole stretched open. I want her wrecked,” she paused to look in Tatianna’s eyes, waiting for any objections, “is that what you want Tati?” Tatianna got on her knees and breathed in Katya’s unshaven pussy, making sure to keep her hands off of her unless she’s told to use them, “yes, Katya, please fuck me like that.” She kissed the spot right above Katya’s clit and nuzzled her face against the soft blond hair, “please, I need you inside me. I prepared for you while you were upstairs, Katya...” She got exactly what she wanted. 

 

Katya tied her wrists and ankles together with the red silk scarfs Tatianna liked, watching her toy wiggle her ass in anticipation. She wanted this to be rough and reminded Tatianna of the safe word she never seemed to use. The tip of the strap stretched her hole easily, filling her ass up as she begged her to fuck her harder. She loved watching her women squirm on all fours; their knees and faces pressed into the mattress, their fists balling up the sheets. She lost count of how many times Tatianna screamed she was coming. If she was being honest, she kept imagining Trixie’s voice yelling the slutty things Tatianna kept hissing at her through gritted teeth. She started fucking her faster, feeling herself getting closer the more she thought of Trixie. She could cum with just her clit rubbing against the harness. She knows Tatianna was close too, her fingers furiously working at her clit despite her bound wrists. The sight was enough to make Katya lose control. Her hips started moving more erratically, making Tatianna bury her face in the pillow, her thighs shaking as she came. Katya finished right after with a loud, guttural moan that surprised them both. “I think that’s the hardest I ever came,” Katya snorted while pulling out slowly. “I should feel jealous but honestly I hope you think about Trixie the next time I come over because I think you crippled me,” Tatianna smiled lazily before she fell asleep.

…

The thought was enough to get Katya through the day without feeling overwhelmed. She drove her red Pontiac convertible into her cobblestone driveway and turned the engine off. All she wanted was a bath and a smoke, preferably at the same time. She took her heels off in the car and slipped on a pair of flip-flops before walking up to the house. While fishing around for her keys in her briefcase, she heard the sound of footsteps approaching her. “Nice shoes, I bet you have all those lawyers groveling at your feet.” She snorted and turned around, already knowing whose voice the sarcasm came from. “Trixie, it’s nice to see you again. Usually, people wait for an invitation before they barge into someone’s space,” Katya retorted, enjoying the smirk on Trixie’s face. She opened the door and allowed Trixie to walk in first while she removed the key. She brushed past her in the hall and headed to her bedroom to change.

 

She pulled on a white tank top and green gym shorts, tying her hair up in a ponytail. Her mind was racing with thoughts of getting Trixie into her basement, laying her on the silk sheets and fucking her slowly so she can savor every touch, every moan… “Are you always this quiet and lonely?” Trixie called from the living room, interrupting her thoughts. Katya laughed to herself before she walked out to meet her. “Oh, but I’m not the one in need of company, кукла,” she responded as she walked to the kitchen to make them some coffee, Trixie hot on her heels. “Did you just curse my Native American ancestors?” Trixie laughed as she hopped on Katya’s island and peeled a banana. “No, I just called you _doll_ ,” Katya tried to ignore the sight of Trixie sitting on the counter beside her, her tight denim dungarees digging into her hips, making the kitchen feel like she’s in one of her dreams. She could feel her stomach tightening, making her bare nipples harden and graze against the thin fabric of the tank top. “Also, you’re Native American?” she asked in an attempt to fill the awkward silence creeping into her favorite room. “Mhm, and you’re Russian. Who knew?” Trixie rolled her eyes and handed her banana peel to Katya. 

 

The entire scene felt too intimate. Her stomach fluttered again as she grabbed two mugs off the rack. Trixie jumped off the counter and opened the fridge to get the cream while Katya got the sugar. _She feels sick_. Trixie took her mug and headed to the living room, leaving Katya alone with her thoughts again. She took a second to gather them and reminded herself that she isn’t allowed to have these feelings. She isn’t allowed to fall for these women. She knows what she is good at and feelings of needing and attachment are not in her list of things she can handle. There is no control when your heart is involved. She walked over to sit opposite Trixie who was looking at her art on the wall. “I’m guessing these are yours, Yekaterina,” Trixie said without looking at her. _There she goes saying her name again_. “You’re right, they are mine. Are you a wizard?” Katya forces a smile. She wants to throw up. “No, I am not a wizard, I just feel like I know you,” she gloated and smiled at her, “no one will just paint a demon with its innards spilling at their feet.” _Who is this woman in her home?_

 

They finished their coffee and Katya needs that smoke now. She walked across the living room to the back porch and Trixie followed her closely, the hairs behind her neck stood up at the thought of Trixie breathing against her skin. She opened the door and lit her cigarette before she rolled up her yoga mat. “Yoga… That explains your body then,” Trixie breaks the silence. Katya can feel her eyes on her even though her back is turned. She wants her to leave. _She wants her to stay_. “You are lusting over my body, Trixie,” Katya faced her, her accent strong and her tone too serious to be taken as a joke. “Maybe I am. Does it make you uncomfortable?” Trixie asked with a smug smile. Katya shook her head and took a drag of her cigarette before sitting down next to her, so close she felt when Trixie’s breath hitched. She exhaled her smoke near Trixie’s face and leaned in, “go home, Trixie, Firkus may start wondering where you are.” Trixie searched her face, looking for any hint that Katya may be joking. There wasn’t any. She stood up and gave Katya a half smile, “maybe I will see you soon then,” she stated before she left.

…

Katya found herself in the basement, soft rug beneath her feet as she looked around the dimly lit room. This was her, this was what she knew; silk, leather, rubber, and lace. She wasn’t a lover, she was a ruler and this was her kingdom, her domain. The only thing she loved was seeing women fall apart from the pleasures of being in submission. She loved women who gave her the power to please them, whatever they wanted to be pleased. There’s no room for falling in love when they already had love in their lives; husbands, children… boyfriends. Katya was just as much a toy for them as they were hers. She respected them but she didn’t need them. They respected her once she kept them in line and disciplined them when they got too greedy. She had nothing to lose but they did and she reminded them of that whenever they tried to disobey. She thought that this one would be easy but with Trixie, she felt like she had something to lose. 


	3. Gold Dust Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She sat on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from Katya and peered around the room curiously, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her dress. Katya took a step back and gripped the edge of the table nearest to her. She could feel her stomach tighten and her knees buckle; a confusing mixture of anxiety and anticipation. Why was she here? She grabbed her cigarettes and lit one to calm herself down; there’s no point in losing control now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... here it is. XD I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. Reminder: I fully do not ship Brian and Brian but I completely love Trixie and Katya being a thing in these fics.  
> Please leave comments, I'd love to know what you think.

Chapter 3: Gold Dust Woman

 

The summer gave way to the early days of autumn. The wind became nippy and Katya savored the cool air in her lungs. She would miss her golden tan when the winter comes but her body knows it worked better in the cold. She looked forward to the year closing in on itself and the inevitability of change. It had already begun. She watched Trixie become close friends with the neighborhood, and found that she needed to be near her more and more as time passed by. Katya went from meeting her in group outings to inviting her out, just the two of them. Sometimes they had lunch together during Katya’s break or met up at one of their houses when work was over; never running out of trivial things to talk about. Firkus sometimes joined them and Katya would feel her body tint green with jealousy whenever he held Trixie too close or sneak kisses to the corners of her lips. She would curl her toes in her boots and dig her blunt nails into her own palms in a desperate attempt to keep her cool, to keep a forced smile on her face.

 

 _She liked Firkus_. He didn’t seem like a bad guy and Trixie seemed to be happy with him. She liked that he never made her feel like she had to compete with him; he was never arrogant or too possessive of Trixie in her presence. _She didn’t like Firkus_. He seemed too sweet. Something about him made her want to tie him to her bedpost and use a wooden paddle on his bare ass. There wasn’t a dominant bone in his body and Katya knew that that had to be a problem for Trixie; the coquettish girl with the curious eyes. As the leaves wither and fall, so too did Katya. She could feel her soul drifting away from her body, searching for solid ground whenever Trixie was near her. She knew there was a tension between them, and Trixie knew it as well. It seemed as if she enjoyed Katya being disoriented and envious. She probably got off knowing Katya was breaking apart from concentrating too hard on not wanting to have her.

 

“It’s torturous Tati. I’m convinced I’m being punished for my heartlessness,” Katya complained, face buried in her hands as Tatianna laughed at the whole ordeal. “You’re not heartless, you’re just a hooker who’s feeling things in her chest rather than in her cunt,” Tatianna kept laughing as Katya dramatically slid off the chair and sprawled across her living room floor. “I’m not a hooker! Also, you’re pregnant! Is it mine? My world is crumbling down!” Katya pretended to cry, knowing she’s amusing Tatianna with her antics and exaggerated Russian accent. Tatianna’s stomach only recently started to show but everything about her seemed to change already. Her black, straight hair rapidly grew past her hips and she started parting it down the middle, framing her gorgeous face perfectly. Her lips were full, softer looking, and her skin glowed and radiated warmth despite the cold, dry air of September. Katya found her more attractive and decided that she wouldn’t suggest fucking unless Tatianna did it first. So far, it looked like she was content with taking a break; Katya was a bit disappointed.

 

“You’re so fucking dramatic. You don’t need me or Trixie. I fully know you have a handful of the wives, and probably a few husbands in this neighborhood passing through these doors. You’re not very subtle.” It was the truth, _subtle_ wasn’t a word to describe Katya. She also believed in hiding in plain sight. Even if someone suspected her of sleeping with their wife (or closeted husband who needed something… more), they could never be sure. She was naturally friendly and very respectful to everyone and most of her toys were vaguely aware of each other anyway, so it was easy for them to be quiet in fear of being found out. “Everything’s changing! I need a distraction. I should call Shea, I heard her husband is visiting family in Russia,” Katya sat up at the realization. She liked Sasha, he’s the only one she can speak Russian with and his wife was unrealistically beautiful. In an ideal world, she’d have them both but she couldn’t complain; Shea was more than enough.

...

Shea was in Russia with Sasha. Katya found herself feeling frustrated that the one toy she wanted to play with was not within her arms reach. She stared at herself in the mirror and saw a spoiled, petulant child looking back at her. She had others; Shea and Tatianna aren’t the only two, so why was she behaving like this? She could feel her skin itch with anger and envy whenever she thought of Tatianna’s husband rubbing her swollen belly, or Sasha kissing Shea’s full lips as he slid inside her, or Firkus pulling on Trixie’s blonde hair while she looked back at him. She allowed the thoughts to course through her mind, causing her face to grimace every time she felt like she was losing her toys one by one. She walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer, cracking it open and sipped while she looked at the house next door. _Can they see her just as clearly as she saw them? What would happen if she put on a show for whoever was at home; naked on the island, cold beer bottle rubbing against her warm pussy? Would Trixie see her first and come over? Would Firkus see her first and tell Trixie? Would they fuck each other stupid while fantasizing about her?_ Her hands started dipping into her shorts as the telephone began ringing in the hall. She ran to it and answered quickly, not really knowing who she expected it to be.

 

“Hello?” Katya’s voice was almost a whisper, her Russian accent stronger than she wanted it to be. “I haven’t had you in months. Did I ruin us by begging?” _Alaska_ ; her voice came out a soft moan in Katya’s ear. She found herself pressing her back against the wall, closing her eyes at the sound. “You were being greedy,” was all she could say without giving herself away; the tightening of her stomach, the goosebumps on her skin. She wanted her. _She wanted something_. “Punish me, please. I deserve it,” Alaska was whispering now. The thought of Sharon sitting in the room next to Alaska made Katya squeeze her thighs together, her denim shorts brushing against her clit made a breathy moan escape her lips. “I’m coming over,” was all Alaska said before she hung up. Katya hung the phone back on the wall and went down to the basement to get ready, leaving the front door unlocked.

...

Footsteps down the basement stairs sounded through the large, dimly lit room. Katya was waiting impatiently to hear the familiar sound. A couple tube, wall lamps were on, casting soft halos of light down the walls and up the ceiling. Katya knew what Alaska liked, she was a lady and she loved being treated like one. She would come over in her bell-sleeved blouses and high waist skirts, her long blonde hair feathered out to perfection. Katya’s kink with Alaska was fucking her with her clothes on, her hair and makeup untouched. She liked the idea of it being a quickie; a fantasy where Sharon could come knocking her front door at any moment and Alaska will answer it as if she didn’t just squirt against Katya’s hard stomach. The sex was always intense; deep, hard thrusts that had Katya holding onto her tighter, pulling Alaska closer as they came. She turned around to see what Alaska was wearing, excited to know what her cheating, housewife fantasy looked like but is met with a hesitant Trixie instead, her blush evident on her cheeks, even in the warm lighting.

 

She sat on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from Katya and peered around the room curiously, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her dress. Katya took a step back and gripped the edge of the table nearest to her. She could feel her stomach tighten and her knees buckle; a confusing mixture of anxiety and anticipation. _Why was she here?_ She grabbed her cigarettes and lit one to calm herself down; there’s no point in losing control now. “What are you doing down here?” Katya asked as she pulled her hair out of her ponytail, thick waves falling past her shoulders. Trixie watched silently, tilting her head to the side a little. “I saw Alaska coming over so I figured I’d join her. She left when she saw me though, said she forgot Sharon needed her for something,” she replied smiling up at Katya. _She’s confident_. “Why are you really here?” Katya asked more sternly this time, blowing her smoke in Trixie’s direction. “You’re always so serious. I came here to have fun… Isn’t that why they all come over, to have fun?” Trixie smirked, eyes staring at her knowingly. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about Trixie, enlighten me,” Katya replied wryly through an exhale of smoke, enunciating the rolls of her R’s.

 

Trixie broke eye contact with Katya to inspect her surroundings again, only stopping to focus her gaze on the other glass table in the room. She scanned every item laid out on it and Katya could see her knuckles turn white from gripping the hem of her dress too hard. She had her favorite equipment out for her and Alaska’s session; wooden paddle, silk ties, wooden clothespins (for herself) and a vibrator. “I see them come and go, Katya, through my window, I mean. I see how they leave, traces of you lingering in their expressions. I see how they look at you when we’re out, like you’re their goddess and they’re hungry for your touch. They worship you. You make them feel good, don’t you? I came here so you can make me feel good,” Trixie inhaled sharply, and returned her gaze to Katya, smiling as she regained her calm. “Doesn’t your boyfriend make you feel good?” Katya asked, taking off her robe slowly, exposing her naked breasts and the strap harnessed to her hips. She pulled on her cigarette and walked towards Trixie, watching as her hips shift a little at the sight of her naked body. Trixie licked her lips before she spoke, “No, he doesn’t. He just doesn’t have what I want.”

 

“What is it that you want?” Katya leaned into her and asked; smoke hazing around Trixie’s face. She flipped her long, blonde hair to one side and took half of the eight inches into her mouth. Katya’s hips bucked at the sight, causing Trixie to gag, her deep brown eyes pooling with tears as she stared up at Katya. She pulled on the cigarette and tangled her hand in Trixie’s hair, steadying herself. She watched as Trixie used her hands, moving them up and down as she sucked, making Katya feel lightheaded from her arousal. She was enjoying it. _She’s not supposed to enjoy it so much_. Trixie was having too much control over her already. Katya pulled out of her mouth and told her to get undressed. She obeyed. Her eyeliner and mascara darkened her eyes, tear tracks stained the top of her cheeks, her pink lipstick smeared around her mouth and her fingers. She stared at Katya intently, rubbing herself now that she was free of her dress, she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

 

Katya’s pussy throbbed at the sight, releasing a soft moan she hoped Trixie didn’t hear. “Lean over the table,” She stated as she put out the cigarette in the ashtray. She obeyed without any defiance. Katya liked that, not many of them knew how to take simple instructions. She leaned over the cold table and spread her legs open, exposing the light brown of her lips and its small pink opening. Katya spat on her fingers and slipped two of them in, feeling her wetness against her skin. She moaned and pushed back to get more of Katya inside of her but was met with a slap against her ass instead. She laughed and it fueled Katya to finger her harder. She could hear her whimpering “fuck me” between her moans. Katya thoughtlessly obeyed, taking her fingers out and sliding the strap half way in. Trixie gasped and gripped the edges of the table, grinding back, enjoying the stretch of her pussy. Katya fucked her slowly, watching Trixie’s cunt pulse around the plastic dick. “More please, Katya,” she begged shamelessly.

 

Katya listened to her, giving in to her every wish. She knows she’s losing control but she gripped her hips tightly and forced every inch in, making the strap disappear inside her completely. She savored the sound of Trixie losing her breath and gasping for air, the feeling of her legs trembling as she cried out brokenly. Katya pulled Trixie’s hands behind her back and held them down against the dip in her spine. Her moans turned into repeated, muffled whimpers of “I’m coming” through clenched teeth. Katya could feel her own wetness slide down her thighs as she released Trixie’s hands and pulled out. She heard her exhale a groan at the loss. Katya wanted to fuck her again until she made herself cum but she’s done with her; she’d get herself off while she showered. _It’s time for her to go_. She started for the stairs and stopped abruptly when she heard Trixie whining behind her. She was kneeling on the floor, using her index finger to beckon her to come back. Katya walked towards her, looking down at the mess of makeup on Trixie’s face.

 

“You fucked me so hard,” she giggled and looked up at her, “you made me cum all over you,” she whispered before she sucked her cum off of the dildo. Katya couldn’t stop looking at her, knowing that she was breaking all the rules by enjoying her so much. Trixie wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and got off the floor to sit on the table with her legs open. Her pussy was swollen and throbbing, cum pooling in the middle. Katya bent forward without thinking and licked her clean, quickly becoming addicted to the taste of her. “Put it in me,” Trixie demanded. She stared at Katya through lidded eyes as she cupped her heavy breasts, leaning over to lick across one of her own nipples. Katya bit her bottom lip and did what she was told. She watched as the tip opened her up again, rubbing Trixie’s clit as she pushed the rest in, burying it deep inside her. Her nails dug itself into the skin of Katya’s back. Her desperate whining filled Katya past her breaking point, making it more and more painful the longer Katya resisted coming. She wrapped Trixie’s legs around her waist, lifted her off the table and dropped her on the bed. Trixie laughed languidly and turned her body around, resting her hips on a pillow, pushing her ass in the air. “Put it in my ass, Katya. Fuck me and make me cum again, please,” she purred out the words, the wicked grin never leaving her face.

 

Katya spat on the top of her ass and watched it run down her crack before she started preparing her, two fingers slipping in easily like she had prepared herself already. The thought of Trixie fingering her ass before she walked over to her house made Katya’s knees buckle, again. She hummed lowly, focusing on the feeling of Trixie’s muscles tightening around her fingers. She slipped a third one in and Trixie’s hips started grinding into the pillow beneath her. She wanted to hate that she wanted her so much. She wanted to leave Trixie unsatisfied. She wanted to… “I’m ready, Katya, fuck me, please,” Trixie pleaded childishly, her voice smaller than she’s ever heard it before. Katya removed her fingers and fucked her as hard as she begged for it. Her screams were hoarse. She was weak with the feeling of Trixie’s skin slapping against her hips as she looked over her shoulders, mouth gaping as she got her ass pounded... She started rubbing her clit frantically, looking for any type of friction against the wetness. Katya couldn’t help the smirk that came on her face. She was so close, they both were.

 

Katya’s eyes closed as her head tilted back, it was taking every ounce of willpower in her not to cum. She opened her eyes and watched Trixie grind against her own fingers on the bed, her face filled with desperation. “Don’t stop fucking me,” she hissed through her teeth, her eyes glazing over the closer she got to her climax. Katya curled her forearm under Trixie’s stomach and pushed deeper into her. Her orgasm made her entire body shudder, pulling a high pitched moan from Trixie’s throat that made Katya lose it. “You like that, huh? You like being fucked in your ass, don’t you?” she teased as Trixie nodded frantically, still rubbing herself through her orgasm. Katya couldn’t slow down, her body was going against her, fighting for that feeling it wanted for so long. With a deep exhale she stopped and pulled out too quickly, causing Trixie to stifle a cry in her palm. She couldn’t help it. She was desperate. She wanted to feel Trixie’s mouth on her cunt while she came. She stood up and took off the strap, unsteadily resting one of her feet on the bed. Her legs were shaking beyond her control. Trixie crawled over the soaked pillow and sucked Katya’s clit, fingering her until she came in her mouth, down her wrist. All Katya kept thinking was how much she wanted to fuck the minx again…


	4. Little Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie can feel herself falling into a trance watching the muscles ripple in Katya’s back, her head tilting to the side causing her thick blond hair to cascade down her spine and shoulder. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the woman in front of her, rolling her hips to the strum of the guitar, singing brokenly to the words of the song that she so clearly enjoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little angst for your nerves. Also, this is Trixie's POV. Please let me know what you think. Your feelings about it make it all the more fun to write :)

Chapter 4: Little Lies

 

“Fuck, Katya! Stop!” Trixie couldn’t help but scream; her orgasm wracking her entire body as Katya slid the fourth finger inside her. She darted backward and kicked Katya off of her, laughing through her convulsions as Katya tried desperately to not fall off the bed. “дерьмо, you squirted all over my favorite duvet,” Katya gasped, staring at her wrinkled fingers and the deep brown puddle surrounded by mustard velvet. “Sorry,” Trixie exhaled as she lifted her spent body to stare at the mess she made, “you know I only do that with you. You should have fucked me in your dungeon instead of your sacred boudoir, mother.” She giggled as she stood up on shaky legs and made her way into the en-suite. She knew Katya wasn’t into the whole “stay over for the night” thing and she loved the thrill of going home to Firkus after being fucked sore by the girl next door. Besides, Trixie wasn’t dumb, she knew she wasn’t the only one to have her skin against Katya’s soft sheets, so she wouldn’t dare make a fool of herself by trying to stay over without an invitation. 

 

She stepped into the tub and turned on the shower. The hot water caressed her aching shoulders but stung her bruised nipples and the flesh between her legs. She winced at the pain and gently rinsed her body off, careful not to use any of Katya’s bath products on herself. She knew them all by heart though, even if she never used them. She also knew Katya more than either of them would care to admit and she preferred it that way. She loved her to be calculated and in control. She’d wet herself every time Katya shut her down with her words but continued to fuck her with her eyes in public. She can feel her stomach tighten and her pussy throb whenever Katya squeezed her thigh to calm her when she’s being frisky and Firkus is in the other room. Firkus never pays her that type of attention. He fucks her like it’s an obligation rather than an enjoyment for them both. He comes the hardest when Trixie takes him in her mouth and now, it seems like that’s all he wants. She’s never as expressive with him like she is with Katya. She’ll never let him know that she can take it up the ass or that she can ride four fingers until she squirted. She settles for doggie style and giving head because it makes him happy. She wants him satisfied and she’s not really sure if he is. It almost makes her feel guilty because she’d be more than satisfied when she gets home. 

 

She dried her skin with Katya’s towel and walked into the now empty bedroom. The faint sound of Fleetwood Mac – The Chain is playing in the living room and she finds herself singing it as she got dressed, long after the song changed. _Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night_ – She pulled up her orange, high-waist bellbottoms and stared at her own ass in the mirror; the dull ache from the spanking earlier made her blush deeply. She pinched her hard nipples and bit her bottom lip; they hurt. She looked around the room, admiring the clothespins and paddle still on the floor where they were discarded. _Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies_ – Her rainbow stripped polo neck stretched across her breasts as she raised her arms to bundle her tangled hair into a messy bun. She could tell Firkus her hair frizzed out from the cold, winter breeze outside; not like he would notice that her hair changed. _Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light_ – She groaned a little as she bent to pick up her coat and boots that were kicked under the bed. Her body ached, every pain a reminder of what Katya did to her; the lashes, the deep fucking, the asphyxiation. She threw on the thick Bradshaw jacket with the padded collar and matching rainbow stripes. After one more look in the mirror, she headed down the hall. 

 

 _And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again_ – Katya is in her black lace underwear, dancing in front of the red cone fireplace. Her naked skin gleaming orange in the flickering light as her hands swayed above her head, matching the rhythm of the beat of the song that was playing in the background. _I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain_ – Trixie can feel herself falling into a trance watching the muscles ripple in Katya’s back, her head tilting to the side causing her thick blond hair to cascade down her spine and shoulder. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the woman in front of her, rolling her hips to the strum of the guitar, singing brokenly to the words of the song that she so clearly enjoyed. She couldn’t understand the words with her mind repeating The Chain over and over. She took two hesitant steps forward and Katya turned around with a soft smile on her face, still undulating her hips as the song that was playing reached its crescendo. “I was wondering how long you would stand there staring. For a second I thought you would have left without saying anything,” Katya stated drily, holding Trixie’s gaze intently, “come here.” Trixie walked over tentatively, feeling overwhelmed by the heat of Katya’s arms wrapping themselves around her neck.

 

She moved with her, feeling silly for being fully dressed in front of this beautiful, barely clothed woman. Katya’s eyes were closed and Trixie could see her clearer than she ever had before. She saw what she probably looked like when she was asleep, she saw her at peace, she saw her vulnerable. She slid one of her hands off Katya’s hips, lightly brushing her fingertips up against her sides, to the nape of her neck. Katya moaned softly and peered up at her, “kiss me.” Trixie felt a lump in her throat. They never kissed before, in all the weeks they’ve been fucking they never once kissed. Trixie felt flustered. “Are you sure, isn’t there some rule that you gave me about kissing?” Trixie snickered, attempting to seem normal despite her increased heart rate. “Kiss me, Trixie,” Katya whispered against her lips, leaning forward on her toes. Trixie closed her eyes and pressed her lips against Katya’s. She wanted so desperately to deepen the kiss that she felt her fingers gripping into her neck. Katya moaned and opened her mouth, inviting Trixie’s tongue. The kiss was sending shivers all over her body, making her pussy clench against her will. She was about to slide her hand down her sheer panties when Katya broke it, leaving her mouth slightly gaping. She didn’t know what to do next and decided, in that quick second, it was time to leave before Katya told her to do so. She escorted her to the door, squeezing Trixie’s fingers lightly before she left.

…

It was late; late enough for her to worry about what she would have to tell her boyfriend if he confronted her about it. The houses were only 50 feet away from each other but the walk felt long, a trickle of worry clouded her mind and set her body in slow motion. She was hyper aware of everything around her; the whistling of the wind, the sound of her own heartbeat against her chest, Katya’s eyes on her through the window, the trudge of her Minnetonka boots through the sludge on the sidewalk. She folded her arms, tucking her hands under her armpits to warm her trembling fingers. She wanted dreadfully not to go home. Maybe she could just keep walking until she figured out what will get rid of this feeling churning in her gut. _It wasn't a feeling of regret_. Whatever it was, it made her sick and she needed to relax before she entered the house. She stood in front of the door, key in hand and eyes closed. She decided then that the feeling was guilt and almost encouraged the thought of not seeing Katya again. If she ever decided not to see her again, it would be the biggest lie she’d ever tell herself. She pushed the key in and turned it slowly, hearing the click of the door unlocking. Everything felt like it was on pause until that moment. She was back to reality, staring at the orange paint on the wall of the hall.

 

She walked into the house and felt a strange comfort from the smell of the vanilla candles and potpourri. The warmth circulating around her from the fireplace relaxed her troubled thoughts. She hung her jacket on the coatrack and kicked off her Minnetonka before walking to the living room. It was empty. The flickering lights from the fire and the warmth of the room made her feel like falling asleep on the plush rug near the open flames. “Firkus, I just got back,” she called out, hoping he was asleep. She couldn’t have sex with him, not tonight. Her body couldn’t take it without flinching in pain. He never responded and she gladly assumed he was in bed. She stripped off her clothes in the living room and padded her socked feet to the bedroom. “What are you doing?” she asked timidly at the scene she’s met with; Firkus pacing back and forth from the closet to his suitcase on the bed. “Packing, what does it look like?” he asked with a patronizing tone and a boyish smirk on his face. _She wanted to vomit_. “I can see that Firkus, but why are you packing now? You don’t leave for another week to go on tour,” she suddenly feels stupid standing in front of him in just her underwear and socks, her nipples hardening from the chill of the room. 

 

She walked to the bed, taking one of his folded t-shirts in the suitcase to put it on. “I know, honey. I’m just packing early because Milk is coming over in the morning. He’s gonna be spending Christmas with us then we’re gonna road trip to the first venue in the Volkswagen,” he stared at her questioningly before continuing, “It was a spur of the moment thing, honey. I just went along with it because I knew you wouldn’t mind, you love Milk more than me anyway.” She knew he was joking, she knew it was far from the truth but she still felt the guilt rise in her chest and couldn’t help the blush smearing across her cheeks. “I’ll miss you,” was all she could have thought to say. “I’ll miss you too, honey. On the bright side, I’ll be home for Christmas and then it’s only a few weeks on the road. Plus, we’ve got that big Christmas Eve party you planned coming up.” She almost forgot she agreed to host this year; her _initiation_ party, as they referred to it. Alaska already confirmed to help her with decorations. “Can I road trip with you guys? I’ll drive the rabbit and trail behind you. It’ll be fun, we’ll get to spend New Year’s Eve together,” she suggested, feigning excitement, knowing in the back of her mind she doesn’t even want to go. When Firkus and Milk are together, she suddenly feels like the third wheel. “And what will happen when we get to the venue? Who’s gonna drive back here with you, Trix?” he looked at her as if she were crazy. She felt relieved that he didn’t agree to it but still felt unsettled that he didn’t even ask why she’s home so late. 

 

She crawled over his suitcase and flopped against the pillows dramatically, releasing a whiny noise to grab his attention. He gave her a quick glance and a half-smile before returning to his packing. She watched him. She admired how graceful he moved, how neatly everything was being placed by his slender fingers. He’s always been beautiful, organized and tender, and Trixie had a stirring deep inside her to ruin him and see him in a different way. “I want you to fuck the shit out of me before Milk gets here,” she whispered, hoping he heard it but would have been content if he didn’t. She looked up from playing with a loose thread on the T-shirt she was wearing and froze when she saw his face. He stopped what he was doing and stared at her as if she was asking him to sacrifice her to the devil. A mixture of confusion and scorn painted an ugly expression on his face. “Since when do you ask me to ‘ _fuck the shit out of you_ ’ like you’re some common slut trying to get some backstage?” he spat out the words in disgust then turned away and laughed dismissively. Trixie knew he was right. She never spoke to him like that before but she wasn’t going to be shamed by her boyfriend for doing it. 

 

“I’m not some common slut, Firkus, I’m your girlfriend. We fucking live together, of course I want you to make love to me before your friend gets here and I can’t get a moment of peace with you!” her voice rose until it cracked, making her suddenly feel embarrassed. “Make love? No, honey, that’s not what you asked for. You asked to have the shit fucked out of you, Trixie, like some whore in the porn movies.” He zipped his suitcase and pulled it off the bed aggressively, bumping it against her leg in the process. It infuriated her. “Oh, wow, ok... but it's fine when I swallow your dick like Linda Lovelace, huh? It’s not a big fucking deal for me to be a whore when you’re the one getting to cum down my throat!” She hopped off the bed in her rage and stood directly in front of him, staring up into his eyes that were darting around the features of her face. She probably looked like a monster to him. She felt like one. His expression turned tired, defeated almost. “Come here, Trix. Who are you right now? What the hell is wrong with you?” his tone relaxed, sounding exhausted. He hugged her and gave her small pecks on her neck. She could never win an argument with him, even when he’s not wrong he seems to admit defeat by being soft with her.

 

She felt it again, the sick feeling she felt on her walk home from Katya’s house. “I’m… I’m really sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight,” she breathed out the words as he continued to hold her against his chest, “I’m just mad that you’re not gonna be here for our New Year’s kiss and I’m angry that I can’t go with you.” _She’s lying to herself_. She pulled away from him to see his boyish face looking worriedly at her. She smiled to reassure him that she’s fine; ignoring the painful prickling of tears she was fighting to hold back. It burned. Everything ached. She was suddenly aware of the marks Katya laced against the skin under her panties and felt a rush of fear and relief that she wasn’t going to be _fucked_ after all. He gently tilted her head up by her chin and kissed her so softly it made her cry. “I’m sorry, ignore it,” she whimpered against his lips. He held her close and gave her one last peck before leading her to bed. He fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, leaving her awake in the brightly lit room. Too tired to get up and turn off the light, she pulled the covers over her head, snuggled into his side and fell asleep. She’d have all day to hate herself tomorrow.

…

The disturbing sound of a beeping horn woke Trixie up from her sleep. Her head was pounding, she felt groggy as she crawled out of the bed and dragged herself to the window to peer outside. The rainbow colors of Milk’s Volkswagen made her smile despite her discomfort. Swirly patterns made up of colorful flowers and shooting stars painted the side that faced her and she wondered what Katya would think of the psychedelic mess. Her smile grew as she touched her own lips, remembering the kiss they shared last night. Her head hurt. She closed her eyes and drew the blinds to seek relief from the harshness of the morning light. Her eyes burned. They were puffy and sore from crying herself to sleep. She went to the bathroom and dug around her makeup bag, silently looking for a concealer to cover up the blotchiness on her cheeks and the redness under her lids before she let Milk in. She’d wake Firkus after; there’s no point in him seeing her like this and bringing up the embarrassing argument from last night. The darkness in the hall gave her comfort. At some point, the car horn must have stopped because she now heard a melodious knock at the door, like a Peruvian cajón drum. She felt her body buzzing with excitement to see him and hug him. She missed him even though she knew he missed Firkus more. She tussled her hair and flipped it over to one side, took a calming breath and plastered on a smile as she unlocked the door.

 

“Well, well, well… if it isn’t the one and only, _leg and dairy_ , Big and Milky!” Trixie laughed as she tiptoed to wrap her arms around Milk’s neck. He smelled like the forest; floral yet musky. “Trixie, my hippie goddess, look at you! You’re all fucked out,” he burst out laughing. She pulled him inside and closed the door, relieved that she seemed pounded out rather than cried out. She shuffled to the kitchen, turned on the orange coffee maker and popped in a few bread slices into the toaster. She could hear Milk open the door to the first bedroom and then the second, where Firkus was still asleep; at least she didn’t have to wake him. She felt a sort of happiness to have Milk around and started humming the tune of the new song she’d been working on. She smeared Firkus and Milk’s toast with butter and jam and drizzled honey on her own. She mixed her coffee with sugar and cream and left Firkus and Milk’s black. Her mind was at ease, the house seemed still and she could feel herself beaming as she finished preparing breakfast. “Oh, boys, the basic breakfast is ready!” she laid out the plates and mugs across the island, the way they always ate together, with Firkus in the middle. “We’re coming, honey!” she heard Milk yell in a weirdly softened voice, attempting to imitate Firkus. She loved the stupidity he brought everywhere he went. He was tall and muscular, with a strong jaw and soft eyes. His hair was always a different color every time she saw him, this time it was bright orange like the walls of the hallway. 

 

He was the complete opposite of Firkus, and she thought the two made a hilarious pair whenever they were together. She saw sides of her boyfriend she’d only see when Milk was around and she enjoyed the humor and the calm that came with their company. She sat and sipped her coffee as they walked into the kitchen. Milk kissed her cheek quickly and thanked her while Firkus looked at her with soft eyes and whispered “sorry.” She returned it and kissed him on the mouth chastely. They ate loudly; screaming over each other, laughing and spilling coffee down their chins every time someone said something funny. She finished eating last and stood up to gather the empty dishes. Turning around, she noticed they were carrying some of the instruments and in and out of the house. The realization that they’ll be gone in a few days hit her hard. She didn’t know what to feel; confusion seeming to be the running theme in her life now, more than ever.


	5. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're gonna raise suspicion if you keep this up," Alaska blushed and curtsied before pulling her hand away. She pushed her leg slightly forward, through the slit in her dress, and waited for Katya to stare at her naked flesh before continuing. "Trixie's been asking about you all day while we decorated. If Tatianna wasn’t on bedrest, I would have asked her to take over, just so I wouldn’t have to hear your name from the Barbie’s lips again. I guess she never had to wait before," Alaska looked away from Katya and sipped her red wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my favorites so far because the smut in here is the T for me XD Please leave kudos and comments. I honestly love reading and responding to your messages. Thank you for sticking around and I hope you enjoy.  
> Also, listen to Heart - Crazy on You, the lyrics really set the mood.

Chapter 5: Dreams

 

Katya stepped into the house and is quickly embraced by the festive atmosphere and the heat from the fireplace; one that was gratefully welcomed after the short walk in the cold. She should have worn a jacket but she wanted to show off her outfit while she strutted down the pavement as if it were a catwalk. Her black bell-cuffed blouse, with a ruffled neck, was tucked into her black perma-pleat skirt that swayed down to her ankle. A leather belt with a silver eye buckle, matching her earrings, cinched her already small waist. Her black leather boots gave her an extra 4 inches of height. She’s nothing less than exquisite. She felt like a witch, floating through the crowd of people in Trixie and Firkus' home, red lips smiling and casting love spells on everyone who greeted her. She loved the attention, despite her anxiety, and felt more confident in her actions when she's being watched. She's a walking contradiction and it took her a long time to find a balance in her life that worked. Deep in her gut, though, she knew Trixie was throwing her off her axis but tonight she had plans that should break her out of the fantasy world she found herself living in; an unattainable fantasy where she kisses Trixie and holds her close in the mornings before she gets up for yoga. She never kissed her girls; she always told herself that a kiss held more meaning than a fuck. She reprimanded herself for indulging in it by abstaining from any sessions for the past week. It felt like decades but she also felt like she's regained her control. Despite the emotional turmoil, she still got Trixie a gift and she could feel the blunt edges of the small box poke into her thighs, through the pocket of her skirt. She wasn't even sure why she got her one and she suddenly felt stupid for being the one to make the gesture and was sure that Trixie wouldn't even like it. _So what if she didn't like it. It shouldn't matter anyway; it was Christmas after all_. She dismissed her intrusive thoughts and decided to give Trixie the gift whenever the time felt right.

…

She walked up to Sharon and kissed his cheek before wrapping her arms around Alaska and wishing them both a Merry Christmas. Alaska's eyes were dark and dreamy when Katya complimented her dress and Sharon seemed to notice the change in his wife's expression. He turned his focus toward Katya and winked. "You girls play nice now," he stated smugly before walking away. "Sharon loves the idea of you. I honestly don't know what it is about you that intrigues him so," Alaska spoke so softly that Katya found herself staring at her lips just to make sense of what she was saying. "Hm... fuck Sharon, look at you. You look stunning, Mrs. Needles," Katya held her fingers and kiss her knuckles while making eye contact with Sharon, who was staring in their direction. She knew he got off to her fucking his wife and she can admit to herself that she got off to the thought of him walking in on her and Alaska. She wanted to see him naked; his hairy chest and hard dick leaking against his stomach, but she had her boundaries. She wouldn't fuck him, hopefully. "You're gonna raise suspicion if you keep this up," Alaska blushed and curtsied before pulling her hand away. She pushed her leg slightly forward, through the slit in her dress, and waited for Katya to stare at her naked flesh before continuing. "Trixie's been asking about you all day while we decorated. If Tatianna wasn’t on bedrest, I would have asked her to take over, just so I wouldn’t have to hear your name from the Barbie’s lips again. I guess she never had to wait before," Alaska looked away from Katya and sipped her red wine. She winked at Sharon and pulled at Katya's sleeve subtly, "go look for her, Katya, before the little girl throws a tantrum. I expect to see you later, alone." With that, she walked back to Sharon and pressed her slim body flush against his side. Katya could feel that familiar pull in her stomach and it made her want to take Alaska home and fuck the tease out of her. She nodded towards Sharon and went in search of Trixie and a drink.

…

The whiskey was cool on her tongue but scattered like hot coals across her chest. She blew out the air from her lungs as if it would relieve the burn, and glanced around the room. Between the sea of ugly sweaters and Santa hats, she spotted Trixie, Firkus and Milk setting up for their jam session in the corner of the living room. She met Milk a few days ago and he happily offered to salt her driveway just in case it snowed. It didn't but she was grateful that he did it anyway. He was very handsome and Katya especially loved his silly demeanor. She couldn't help but laugh at his and Firkus' matching rainbow Christmas sweaters, their white bell-bottoms and bare feet. Trixie, however, was a vision from a pop-culture magazine. Her short yellow dress with the white Peter Pan color had her looking like a slutty Catholic school girl. Her white cowboy boots and knee high white socks with the rainbow stripes didn't bring in any subtlety to the look. Katya noticed the freckles she painted on her nose and the switch from pink to peach blush on her cheeks. She made her way to her after refilling her glass, "you look like Wednesday Adam's got fucked by a sun ray and forced to line dance for this party." Trixie screeched and gave a mocking sensual sway of her hips, "sun ray? Honey, the only sun I'm fucking is my stepson, honey." Katya wheezed through her laughter, grabbing Trixie's index finger to keep herself from falling apart. "You are rotted! You are a rotten cunt," Katya coughed and noticed Firkus side glancing at her and Trixie. She paid him no mind. "Yeah, well you _smell_ rotted. You should really make a potion for that, you fucking witch," Trixie retorted, noticing Katya's hand was still around her finger even though their hands had fallen to their sides. She pulled away and continued tuning her guitar, "I hope you enjoy the show, I'm happy you made it." Katya felt herself blushing, "I'm sure whatever the doll plays, I'll enjoy." It was Trixie's turn to be flustered and Katya walked away before she could respond. She hugged both Milk and Firkus, wished them a Merry Christmas and thanked him for having her over.

…

While dancing in a circle with some of the neighbors, the music slowly turned down and Trixie's voice echoed from the microphone, "Merry Christmas everyone and thank you all for coming over. We've been listening to holiday music all evening, so how about we kick it up a notch?" Everyone cheered and Firkus started strumming his guitar while Milk beat on the drums. The beat of Heart - Crazy on You sounded through the room and Trixie stared directly at Katya as she played her guitar and sang the words. _With bombs and the devil, and the kids keep coming, no way to breathe easy, no time to be young. But I tell myself that I was doin' all right, there's nothin' left to do at night but go crazy on you_ \- Katya swayed her hips to the rhythm and sang along, noticing Trixie's eyes glancing over her ever so often. She felt the words run through her, finding too much meaning in the lyrics pouring from Trixie's lips. _The whisper that calls after you in the night, and kisses your ear in the early moonlight, and you don't need to wonder, you're doing fine. My love, the pleasure's mine_ \- Everyone dancing around Katya felt like secondary characters in her own world. She shook her hair from side to side and lost herself in the jamming of their instruments. She heard Trixie's message. She knew it was for her. _Sang you the song that I heard up above, and you kept me alive with your sweet flowing love! Crazy! Yeah, crazy on you. Let me go crazy, crazy on you_ \- She felt tipsy as she put on a show for the woman in the spotlight, chanting the words to her in her mind. She shook her hips, rolled her waist and spun around, the black fabric if her skirt flowing around her. The small crowd feeling her vibration smiled when she made eye contact with them but her main focus was on stage.

 

When the song ended, there was a round of applause and the trio smiled in thanks. They continued to cover songs for a while until Trixie spoke again, "before we end our jam session I'd like to play one last song. It's one I've been working on for a few weeks now. Hope you enjoy." Everyone went silent; they were just as intrigued as Katya was to hear her sing. The beat was slow and Trixie's voice was sweet as she sang. _I've never asked you for forever. I've never asked you for the moon. I knew that loving you was better. And no one knows your heart like I do_ \- The couples around Katya paired up to slow dance and she suddenly felt the slither of loneliness crawl into her chest. She stepped through the couples and leaned on the wall to look at them but caught Trixie's eyes instead. _Loving you from the red side of the moon, loving you was funnier than a Saturday cartoon. Someday is a story and it’s the one I’m sticking to. Loving from the red side of the moon_ \- The floor seemed to open up beneath her, Katya felt her heart speed up while everyone around her slowed down. She felt like she was the only one in the room, pinned in place by Trixie's lingering gaze and the soft words seeping through her pink lips. Surely she's singing about Firkus. Surely she's been taking Trixie's words in all the wrong ways. The small box in her pocket felt heavier. She desperately wanted to leave. _Loved you from the cover of the crowds. My heart was beating right beside you, even with the music loud. I never minded all the waiting, I never thought to watch the clock. I knew that loving’s in the patience, when the red side of the moon is what we’ve got_ \- It was all Katya could take. She winked at Trixie and went to get another drink, swaying to the beat just in case Trixie was watching her. She listened attentively to every lyric while downing her whiskey, not even noticing the burning in her chest. The song ended and Trixie thanked them for enjoying their music. Katya checked her watch, 9 pm; it was a good time to leave. She made her way to Milk and Firkus, thanking them, once again, for having her. She searched the house for Trixie and found her alone in her bedroom, touching up her makeup.

 

"You're very talented Miss Mattel," Katya said, standing in the doorway. "Why thank you Yekaterina, it means a lot coming from the high priestess herself," Trixie beamed, staring at Katya through her reflection in the mirror. "I was about to head out with Alaska and Sharon but I have something to give you first," Katya tried her best not to feel nervous despite her palms already beginning to sweat. She walked toward Trixie, handing her the box she took from her pocket. It was a silver metal case with a pink ribbon branded into it. Trixie's eyes lit up, "please tell me the box _is_ the gift. I feel like a garbage person for not buying you anything." Katya laughed at Trixie's self-degradation, she loved her dark, dry sense of humor. "No, you idiot, open it. Also, you don't have to return the favor. I really just wanted to get you this, so, Merry Christmas." Trixie smiled and open the box, revealing the silver chain resting on a miniature pink, velvet cushion. The pendant said "Кукла" and had a tiny pink spinel stone in the "a." Trixie asked Katya to put it on for her. "I know this is _kukla_ , you call me that all the time. I love it, it's so fucking beautiful. Thank you, Katya," Trixie stared at her with eyes glazed over as if she wanted to cry. Katya cleared her throat and smiled to lighten the mood, "it's your birthstone. It's supposed to protect you from harm and keep away sadness." Trixie grabbed her and hugged her close, breathing in deeply before she snuck a kiss to Katya's neck. They left the room, Trixie walking with Katya to meet Alaska and Sharon before they said goodbye. Alaska noticed the chain and smiled at Trixie one last time before walking out of the door, hand in hand with Sharon and Katya.

...

Down in the basement, Katya had everything set up for Alaska. She walked around the room, touching her favorite toys while Alaska sat cross-legged on the bed. She looked gorgeous and Katya knew she felt impatient with how slowly she was taking things. "I've had you waiting a long time, haven't I?" Katya glanced over her briefly before returning her gaze back to the table. "Did you miss me?" Katya asked as she unbuckled the belt at her waist and slipped off her boots. "I did. I even called you and you still didn't want me. You didn't miss me, I know you didn't. You were too focused on the hippie to give a shit," Alaska's stare was piercing but there was a small smirk on her face, "cute chain by the way, what did she do to deserve that sweetness from the beast herself?" Katya laughed dismissively and pointed a finger at Alaska, "take your fucking clothes off and shut the fuck up." She watched Alaska roll her hips into the bed and stroke her fingers up and down her exposed thigh, ignoring her demands. Katya walked over to her, pulled her off the bed and quickly slipped off her red satin dress and red lace panties. She left soft kisses and painful bites all over Alaska's neck and chest hoping they'll leave marks for Sharon to see. Katya pressed two fingers at her entrance her and whispered in her ear, "I want to use you, Alaska. Can I take what I want from you?" Alaska nodded her head without saying a word, swiveling her hips in search of more friction. She wanted whatever Katya wanted at that moment, unable to think past the thoughts of the woman pressing against her naked body.

 

Katya undressed and took the strap-on and the five silk ties from the table. "Put on your harness, Mrs. Needles," she instructed as she tossed it for Alaska to catch. Alaska did what she was told, confusion painted on her face as she watched Katya pick up her underwear from the floor. "Open your mouth," Katya's hand squeezed her jaw until Alaska's mouth opened and Katya was able to stick her balled up panties inside. Alaska's eyes boggled and it made Katya grin, "do you taste that, Alaska? I was so wet for you tonight, the way you were teasing me and using your husband to make me jealous. I wet my fucking panties from squeezing my thighs together so hard. I'm glad I made you wait for this." Katya took one of the silk ties and tied it to Alaska's mouth, keeping her panties from being spat out. She pushed Alaska onto the bed and tied her wrists and ankles to the four corners of the bed frame. She couldn't move. She couldn't make a sound other than the grunting she was already doing. "If the gag is out, use your safe word. If the gag is in, do you remember what to do if it's too much for you?" Katya had to be sure. Alaska nodded her head and pulled the thin metal chain dangling by her fingers. The small bell attached to it was loud enough for both of them to hear. Katya licked across each of Alaska's nipples, making sure they were hard before she clamped them with the clothespins. She moaned at the pain from Katya squeezing her already clamped nipples between her fingers. "We're gonna play a new game tonight, Mrs. Needles, are you ready?" Alaska nodded her head frantically, the dildo slightly shaking as she swiveled her ass into the mattress.

 

"If you are good to me, Lasky, I'll start to untie you, starting with your hands but if you cum, before I say you can, you'll be humiliated. Do you understand?" Katya spoke slowly and looked on as Alaska nodded and remained still. Katya sat on her heels between Alaska's legs and sucked the strap sloppily. Alaska's breaths were quick and Katya could hear them over the sound of her gagging. She dug her nails into Alaska's thighs and licked up the length of the dildo, staring into Alaska's eyes as she worked. They were dark and lidded. Katya sat up as spread her legs over Alaska, "Do you want to see my wet cunt stretch around you?" She rubbed her clit and watched Alaska nodding her head, plunging her hip upward. Katya held her hips down and squeezed the clothespins on her nipples. As Alaska squinted her eyes at the pain, Katya eased herself down and moaned obscenely from finally being filled. Her pussy throbbed around the strap, her orgasm was too close for her to ride it as fast as she wanted. She moved her hips slowly, knowing the harness was pressing against Alaska's clit. Every roll of her hip made Alaska moan and tug her bound wrists. Katya only ever did this with one toy, Shea, but she loved the way Alaska responded to her with just as much attention. Alaska's hips started bucking into Katya roughly, making her cum unexpectedly. She clenched her teeth and breathed through her nostrils, noticing the smug grin on Alaska's face. She got off the bed and untied Alaska's both wrists. "Give me another and I'll get rid of the gag, Mrs. Needles." Katya sat on the dildo again, bouncing harder this time, feeling the length deep inside her. She unclamped Alaska's nipples and swiped her tongue over them both; enjoying the grunts coming from Alaska's gagged mouth. "Fuck me, Alaska, you better make me fucking cum," Katya sputtered the words through gritted teeth, her eyes already rolling to the back of her head. Alaska grabbed Katya's ass and pulled her own body upward, holding Katya close while she fucked her. Katya bit into Alaska's shoulder to silence her moans as she came a second time. Her body was weak. She pushed Alaska back on the mattress and crawled off the bed on shaky legs.

 

"You're a good fucking girl, Lasky. If I knew you'd be so good to me I would have used you like this a long time ago," Katya petted her hair and took out the gag. Spit soaked her panties through, drool leaked down the corners of Alaska's mouth and down her chin. "Thank you, Katya," Alaska's voice was hoarse and breathy. Katya rubbed her thumb across her plump lips before undoing the harness and pulling them off her body. Alaska's clit was red and swollen, bobbing every time her pussy throbbed. Katya knelt between Alaska's legs again and firmly licked at it, aiming to get her on the edge of coming. Alaska's high pitched moans sounded like cries and Katya wanted desperately to humiliate her. She stuck two fingers in easily and felt the flutter of Alaska's walls almost immediately. Alaska came hard, her legs thrashing around, hands grabbing the sheets as she brokenly moaned "sorry" over and over. Katya sat up, stared at her and smiled, "I thought you wanted to be good to me Lasky? You're a fucking mess. You must be thirsty after coming so hard." Katya hopped off the bed and grabbed a plastic jug filled with water off the table. Alaska sat up and took it from her, gulped until she was quenched and tried to give the jug back to Katya. "Drink all of it, little lady," Katya held the back of Alaska's head and pushed the jug toward her face. "I can't, I have to pee," Alaska's voice was a whine. "Is the proud little lady afraid she can't hold it?" Alaska nodded in response. "Drink it," Katya's tugged on Alaska's hair and pushed the jug to her lips.

 

Alaska drank, coughing and spilling water down the corners of her mouth when she tried to drink too fast. Whenever she made a spill, Katya would gently press against her bladder, making her flinch with the discomfort from being full. Katya prepared for this; it had to happen. When Alaska was finished Katya tied her wrists back to the bed and gagged her again. She was so close to coming it hurt. Katya straddled Alaska and grind their cunts together. Her moans were breathy and strangled by her erratic movements on Alaska. Whenever their clits rubbed together in a way that weakened Katya, she'd moan obscenely and press down a little on Alaska's bladder. Alaska was in a daze looking at Katya, only flinching when Katya pressed her fingers on her but not giving into what Katya wanted. Their bodies were slick with sweat making it hard for Katya to grip onto Alaska while she humped her. She placed her palms on Alaska's bladder one last time and pressed a little firmer into it, rocking her hips desperately while trying not to cum. Alaska's eyes went wide and she wiggled her body on the bed frantically, making incoherent sounds behind the gag. Katya didn't let up, continuing to grind her clit mercilessly against Alaska's while pressing on her stomach. Before she could stop herself, Alaska's body went limp, her whimpering turned into moans of relief, eyes fluttering closed. Katya felt the hot stream on her pussy, making her convulse and moan from the feeling of the wet heat between their legs. Katya's hips bucked as she came, a high pitch whine leaving her throat. She flopped backward on the wet sheets, enjoying the warmth of Alaska's pee on her back. She rubbed herself through her orgasm then slowly crawled off the bed to untie Alaska. Alaska hid her face behind her palms, the second her wrists were unbound, and peeked through her fingers, "I'm disgusting, aren't I? I disgust you." Katya laughed and nodded her head, feeling relieved that she didn't forget to put the plastic covers over the mattress, "yeah you do. I feel embarrassed for you, peeing yourself like that." Alaska looked on worriedly, believing the words Katya spoke to her after humiliating her like that. Katya leaned over her and continued, "take a long bath before you leave, Mrs. Needles," she winked at her and petted Alaska's head, "you did so fucking good."


	6. Landslide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She didn't know where she was going but she kept driving, hoping for some divine intervention that would lead them to a place that could make everything alright. Katya stroked her thigh the entire time, comforting her enough that she started thinking past her rage. She knew that she owed her an explanation but her mind couldn't formulate exactly what she wanted to say to the beautiful, confused, patient woman next to her. She spotted a guest house ahead and an empty looking bar attached to it. She pulled into the graveled parking lot and turned off the engine. Katya squeezed her thigh and exhaled loudly, "so I guess we're celebrating New Year's in this dump."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you saw it coming with your third eye. This chapter is a little longer and also a little emotional.  
> Listen to the song mentioned, I promise you it'll make it magical.

Chapter 6: Landslide

 

The days were passing by quickly but the nagging feeling of being alone seeped through the bliss when Trixie least expected it; while on her walks home from Katya’s, during her warm baths and especially when she was writing music. She would think of Firkus and how sweet he was to her; even if she needed more than what he gave. She felt safe and protected. She missed strumming her guitar and making up songs while he tried to play his autoharp in harmony with her. She missed having someone in the house to wake up to and roll around with when she was too lazy to get out of bed. She missed cooking and baking for him, watching as his eyes rolled shut from the satisfaction of the first bite. He was her best friend since the first day they met in high school. She loved every bone in his body and her heart felt full of happiness when she replayed memories of them in her head. She remembered their awkward first kiss, how his palms were sweating and how quickly she recoiled to make sure he was into it. She remembered their first attempt at having sex, how she fingered herself for him and how disappointed yet relieved she felt when he still couldn't get it up. She loved how they cuddled instead, after he shyly asked to be the small spoon, seemingly scared that she might say no. She would never say no. She would never make him feel embarrassed for what he wanted or how he felt. 

 

Thoughts of him became haunted with fantasies of Katya. She wanted to kiss her again. Even though they fucked a few times during his absence and spent time at each other’s houses, no one made the first move. Trixie wished she could switch the roles between them and break down all the barriers Katya set in place for her. She wished she was the only girl Katya had lusted over. She didn’t want to see Katya’s eyes rake over another woman’s body in her presence or imagine her making another woman cum. She hated that these same thoughts that made her jealous, got her off. She hated that she rubbed her clit and thought of Katya with everyone else but herself. It made her angry but it turned her on so much that she came sputtering Katya's name over and over. She missed Firkus but she loved having Katya to herself without worry. It was Firkus’ last weekend on tour and he was close enough that she could get to him without him making a huge fuss about her safety. She knew she was about to act selfishly but the thrill of it made her squeal with excitement. 

 

She grabbed the phone off the wall and called Katya. She answered on the third ring. “Hey, Katya?” Trixie asked, hoping it wasn’t someone else that answered. “Да, это я. кукла, это ты?” she replied in a breathy tone that made Trixie’s stomach tighten. “I told you I only speak in tongues when my stepdad is pile-driving me. How do you feel about being in a car with me for five hours?” Her wheezing laugh sounded through the phone and it made Trixie grin. She loved that Katya got her humor and would do anything to hear her laugh like that every day, she didn’t hear it enough. “I’ll do anything with you for five hours. What can I do you for?” Katya’s voice a whisper again. Trixie felt her heart beating too hard against her chest, arousal slowly creeping up her throat to strangle her. She took a deep breath, exhaling away from the phone before she continued, "I wanted to drive to surprise Firkus for the New Year’s celebration. I have the tour schedule and the manager's number, so I'll call to find out what motel they're staying in. Also, I could think of no better company to travel with on New Year’s Eve than my mistress. So...?" She knew she was rambling. She heard Katya whisper something incoherently in Russian and the faint sound of two other women giggling. Trixie's excitement quickly turned into jealousy and gut-churning regret. She was about to cancel everything she just suggested then Katya replied enthusiastically, "sure, кукла, I'll come over in an hour... sorry, in uh... 2 hours? We'll talk about how crazy you are for wanting your mistress to be there when you surprise your boyfriend." Trixie gave a hum of approval and hung up quickly, afraid to hear any more of the unknown voices in the background.

...

The next evening they loaded up Katya's convertible with their bags and Trixie's guitar. Trixie insisted they packed snacks but Katya convinced her that a road trip didn't make any sense if they couldn't stop and get snacks at a gas station on the way. She found it hard to deny Katya of anything when she flashed her that smile and almost despised herself for wanting to please the woman she couldn't have. She was a wild horse you wish you could tame. One you admired from a distance until she graced you with her touch, only to run free again. Katya drove one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding a cigarette between her long fingers, “you're a brave woman Trix. How do you know I won't jump your bones in front of Firkus?" Trixie turned her body in the passenger seat to face Katya, a genuine smile painted on her face, "because you're going to calm down your craziness so I could relish in mine, you fucker." Katya nodded her head, a grin forming despite the cigarette between her lips, "you're right, I won't jump you in front of him but I can't promise what will happen when he turns his back." Trixie turned her body back to face the road ahead, her head spinning trying to dismiss the thought of Katya with the women she heard over the phone. She remained quiet and turned the volume up on the radio. Katya cracked the window to flick her cigarette out and the cold air rushed in. She inhaled deeply before winding up the glass and flashed a quick look over to Trixie, giggling at the way she curled in on herself to preserve her warmth.

 

They've been in the car for 3 hours before Katya decided to stop for gas and some snacks. Trixie cursed her in her mind for making her get out if the cozy car to buy the things they could've packed at home. She bought them some cheap cups of coffee and cookies and shuffled back to the car, ignoring Katya as she pumped the gas. A few seconds later Katya jumped in and started for the road again. "Oh, you angel, you bought coffee!" Katya took a sip and let out a moan of approval. Trixie sipped hers in silence and ate the Oreos she just bought. "What's wrong doll, you seem a little distant. Are you regretting your insanity driven plan? Trying to figure out which one of us you'll kiss first at the stroke of 12?" Katya asked humorously. Trixie swallowed what was in her mouth and responded without thinking, "who were you with yesterday?" She regretted the question instantly and looked away from Katya, not wanting to see the expression on her face. Instead, she heard Katya laugh and it made her blush with embarrassment, "jealous are we? I was uh... _entertaining_ a couple friends visiting from Russia but I don't think you should be too concerned with that. Let's focus on the fact that I'm here with you, on our way to see _your_ boyfriend." Trixie remained silent and finished her coffee while Katya sang along to the songs on the radio, substituting the lyrics she didn't know with Russian words Trixie wish she understood.

 

They were almost at their destination, one more hour on the dark highway and Trixie would be able to see Firkus. She suddenly didn't know why she wanted to see him so badly that she pulled Katya out of her house on New Year's Eve to drive five hours in the dark to surprise him. Katya seemed happy to be there though, strong fingers gripping the wheel, head bobbing to the soft music filling the warm car. Trixie unbuckled her seat belt and leaned over to Katya, nuzzling her face in her blonde waves, teasing her neck with slow kisses. She felt Katya's body tense, holding her breath for a second before she exhaled slowly. Trixie traced her fingertips up Katya's thighs and whispered, "Pull over." Katya nodded and pulled off the highway, parking near a streetlight on a lonely road. Trixie unbuckled Katya's seatbelt and unbuttoned her jeans. Katya raised her hips slightly, enough to wiggle her jeans down to her ankles. Trixie wasted no time shifting her panties to the side and slipping two of her fingers inside her. She was so wet already, Trixie moaned in Katya's ear at the thought of Katya being so turned on by her. She fingered her slowly, drawing out soft whimpers from Katya's lips, those red lips she wished she could feel against hers. Katya reclined her seat and opened her legs wider. Trixie hovered over her, watching Katya bite into her bottom lip when Trixie pushed in a third finger. She fucked her harder, deep shallow thrusts that had Katya's back arching and her eyes rolling. Trixie couldn't help herself anymore. She held the back of Katya's neck and kissed her slowly, waiting for Katya to push her off and tell her to stop but she didn't. Katya held her jaw and kissed her back roughly, pulling a strangled groan from Trixie. She slowed her wrist, allowing Katya to move against her fingers, chasing her own orgasm. Trixie felt her muscles fluttering around her and deepened the kiss before she starting fucking her again. She rubbed her thumb over Katya's clit relentlessly, moving her fingers in a beckoning motion. Katya's body jerked forward, moaning brokenly against Trixie's lips. She pulled out and licked Katya's cum off her fingers before kissing her again. Katya was the one to break it and Trixie sat back in her seat, breathless, trying to make sense of how her body was feeling at that moment. Katya fixed her clothes and started the engine again, allowing the car to run as she calmed her breaths with closed eyes. Neither of them said a word but Katya held Trixie's hand for just a moment until she let go to shift gears. Whatever unspoken words that were hanging between them seemed to erase and it eased Trixie's mind. She smiled at Katya before leaning her head against the window, falling asleep with the sound of the cars speeding by and the comfort of knowing Katya was next to her, driving them safely to the motel. 

...

"Trixie, we're here," Katya whispered as she stroked Trixie's cheek. She opened her eyes, noticing Katya parked on the side of the building. "Why didn't you park near the front? It's not like we're undercover," she yawned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Katya grabbed one of her hands and kissed it before setting it down. She turned off the engine and handed Trixie a pair of gloves from the glove compartment before she continued, "I parked here because you're surprising your boyfriend, who happens to know what I drive. Let's not spoil the surprise." Trixie nodded and they both exited the car. She started walking to the entrance when she noticed Katya wasn't following. "Aren't you coming with me?" Her voice sounded too desperate for her own liking. "No, I think you should see him alone first. I'm gonna smoke a cig and wait until the sappy _kiss-kiss-hug-hug_ shit is over." Trixie left her, repeating the number of the room over and over in her mind as she walked towards the stairs. She spotted Milk's van and wondered if he was in there. There were still a few hours until 12 am and Trixie felt the excitement of having her New Year's kiss with Firkus all over again. She ran up the stairs, two at a time, and jogged down the balcony of doors and windows until she reached his. She took a deep breath and recited what she wanted to say to him in her head. 

 

The light was on in the room and faint sounds could be heard through the door. She peeked through the space in the curtain and threw herself back, onto the railing, holding on for dear life. Her mind couldn't make any sense of what she saw. She felt sick to her stomach and felt the tears burning as they welled up in her eyes. She couldn't stop chanting "what the fuck, what the fuck" over and over, like a spell to erase all that lead her to this place in time. She peered through the curtains again, it was real, everything became real even if she wished it wasn't. Milk had his body pressed between Firkus' legs on the cheap motel bed, kissing him while he fucked him. She wanted to scream and push them off the balcony and run away and ruin Milk's van and break apart everything Firkus loved most in the world. The tears fell and shock turned into pure, feverish rage. She pounded on the door and looked through the small space in the curtain. She saw them pulling away from each other, putting on their clothes hastily. Milk opened the door and Trixie couldn't help but slap him across the face with all her strength. "How long? How fucking long, Firkus!?" She pushed passed Milk who was trying to hold her back and give her some sorry explanation. Firkus sat on the bed, fear-riddled face, his mouth moving but no words came out. "How fucking long?" Trixie's voice was a stern whisper. She balled her fist, restraining herself from punching the dumb look of his sacred face. "I don't know Trix, I don't know," he cried out, reaching for her hand. She pulled away from his touch, feeling the tightening knot in her chest. It hurt her. She was in so much pain she held her hands over her heart and cried, "I hate you. You made me hate myself. You made me think I wasn't good enough for you when you were the fucking problem. I fucking hate you!" She ran out the door, down the stairs and crouched in the shadows of a random car. She couldn't face Katya. She just wanted to disappear.

 

Katya found her. Trixie heard her saying her name repeatedly as she slowly opened her eyes, thinking she was dreaming the entire situation. The coldness set in as she regained awareness of her surroundings, she had lost track of time with all the self-degrading thoughts that consumed her whole and put her to sleep on the cold floor. "I've been looking for you, what the fuck happened?" Katya didn't know and Trixie didn't want to tell her anything just yet. She didn’t want to explain how she felt lost and hurt and frustrated with herself for every moment she wasted trying to be perfect for someone who didn't care. She stood up and wiped the dry tear tracks off her cold cheeks. "Nothing happened, let's just go," she wished she could feel empty. Trixie held Katya's hands and lead them through the maze of cars until they reached Katya's. "Mind if I drive?" Trixie didn't recognize her own voice, it sounded cold and abrasive. Katya tossed her the keys and sat in the passenger side quietly, not wanting to push Trixie's anger any further.

...

She didn't know where she was going but she kept driving, hoping for some divine intervention that would lead them to a place that could make everything alright. Katya stroked her thigh the entire time, comforting her enough that she started thinking past her rage. She knew that she owed her an explanation but her mind couldn't formulate exactly what she wanted to say to the beautiful, confused, patient woman next to her. She spotted a guest house ahead and an empty looking bar attached to it. She pulled into the graveled parking lot and turned off the engine. Katya squeezed her thigh and exhaled loudly, "so I guess we're celebrating New Year's in this dump." Trixie nodded and exited the car, tossing the keys on Katya's lap before slamming the door; she didn't mean to. She grabbed all of their bags and headed for the entrance to the front desk. Katya trailed behind her, seemingly keeping a safe distance. "Do you want separate rooms, I seem to be intolerable," Trixie didn't want to be harsh to her but she couldn't help the tone of her voice. "No, of course not. How are we supposed to have our first sleepover and our first New Year's celebration in separate rooms, кукла?" The smile Katya gave her was contagious. She felt herself returning it and Katya's words resonating through her; it was their first sleepover and it was New Year's Eve. She paid for the honeymoon suite and watched as Katya gasped, feigning shock and excitement, "we're on our honeymoon? Why wasn't I invited to our wedding?" She couldn't help the laugh escaping her and the happiness she felt as they walked to their room. The pain was still there but she wasn't Tinkerbell, she was anything but a fairy; she could feel more than one emotion at a time and though it confused her, it gave her clarity as well.

...

Everything was shaped like a heart, even the tub in the corner of the dusty pink and red room. Katya set her bags down dived faced down onto the large bed, making snow angels on the velvet duvet. It was too much, even for a married couple and Trixie thought it looked like the set of some cheesy porn. She threw her body next to Katya and released her thoughts, "I just saw Firkus getting shagged by Milk." Katya flipped over to face her, shocked was an understatement for the look she gave. "Are you fucking kidding me? Milk!? Milk and Firkus are a thing? How long has this been happening? Trixie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... I... I don't know what to say," Katya blurted as she sat up and held Trixie’s hand. She smiled at Katya's reaction and tried to reassure her that the worst was over, "it's cool. Thinking back on it, I should've known he didn't dig me like that. We loved each other but... I just should've known." Katya started shaking her head frantically in disagreement, making Trixie giggle. "No, don't blame yourself because he's a real bunghole. Oh, I just said bunghole... he was having his bunghole filled, wasn't he? I shouldn't have said that. Why did I say bunghole? Um..." Trixie's screeching laugh interrupted Katya and made her jump. There was no way she couldn't laugh at Katya's rambling; she usually did it to make things better but they always made things go south really fast instead. "Relax witch, stop casting spells. I'm gonna be ok now that the funk hit the fan. At least we're not married, and I’m still young, you dig?" It hurt her to say it; being in a honeymoon suite thinking about marriage with him was more than enough to make her sob but she had to let go and move on... he already did. Katya nodded her head and headed for the door, "let’s drink before midnight. Bring your pink ass over here. Oh, I said ass... Trixie... I..." Trixie walked over to Katya and pushed her through the doorway, laughing at the battles Katya was having with her choice of words, "Katya, just zip it and let's go."

...

Trixie bought them some beers and sat at the table furthest away from the blaring speakers. Katya kept staring at her then looking away whenever Trixie made eye contact. It made her blush, being the focus of Katya's attention, but it also made her a little awkward. She broke the silence, "I wrote that song for you, you know. The one I sang during the Christmas party." Trixie breathed out loudly, releasing whatever fear she had about what Katya thought of her. She took a swig of her beer and continued, "I felt myself falling for you, way before we started fucking, and it scared the shit out of me. Every single thing signaled that we could never work but I still wanted you. In my head I just needed to be yours; however you would have me, regardless of Firkus and our relationship. I wanted you, but you being you, it'll never work. I'm gonna have to live with that." Katya's look was unreadable. For a moment, there was a short pause between them until Katya spoke, "if you don't think it’ll work, why are you telling me all of this?" Trixie took another swig and chuckled, she felt like there was nothing to lose at this point. Everything in her life felt like a lie except her feelings for Katya. "Well, I just saw Milk fucking my boyfriend... ex-boyfriend... so the only truth I know for sure is that I love pink and that I care about you so much, it makes me disgustingly happy just to be near you. Honestly, you don't have to say anything, I just needed you to know," she knew she was rambling but she knew Katya understood by the way she bowed her head and nodded.

 

Trixie pressed the pendant Katya gave her against her chest, remembering the stone was meant to drive away sadness and allowed herself to feel easy for a moment. She raised her almost empty bottle to Katya and said, "Cheers to happiness, to letting go and to change." Katya knocked their bottles together and repeated the toast before they chugged the beers down. She could see the gears turning in Katya's head, the unasked questions flashing in her eyes. Trixie carried the empty bottles to the bar and walked over to the jukebox, selecting Heart - Never. Music was her way of communicating and she hoped Katya could read between the lines. _Hey, baby, I'm talking to you, stop yourself and listen. Some things you can never choose even if you try…One chance, one love, your chance to let me know_ \- She beelined through the couple's on the floor, to where Katya was sitting, and held out her hand, "may we have our first dance?" Without hesitation, Katya locked their fingers together and stood up, that silly smile appearing on her face. 

 

Trixie felt like she was at prom all over again, with Katya's hands around her waist and hers locked behind the base of Katya's neck. _Hey, baby you know it's true, why you bother lying when you know that you want it too. Don't you dare deny me, walk those legs right over here, give me what I'm dying for. One chance, one love, hold me down never let me go_ \- The people around them cast glances in their direction but Trixie was in her own world, focusing on Katya's fingers pressing into her lower back and the synchronization of their breathing. She held Katya closer and pressed their foreheads together. _We can't go on just running away. If we wait any longer we will surely never get away. Anything you want, we can make it happen. Stand up and turn around, never let them shoot us down. Never, never! Never, never run away_ – They swayed together until the song ended, every word still pulsing through Trixie while she joined the loud voices counting down to the new year. She was about to whisper "Happy New Year" into Katya’s ear when Katya tiptoed slightly and kissed her so softly it made her feel high. Katya broke the kiss and left her head spinning. She opened her eyes and beamed at the sight of Katya cheering along with the few people in the bar, yelling "Happy New Year" to whoever looked in her direction. Trixie headed to the bar and ordered whatever cheap bottle of wine they had available. She thanked the bartender and felt Katya's hands palming her ass and her warm breath against her neck, "come on кукла, let's take the celebration back to the room."


	7. Gypsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Firkus sat on the bed and reached out his hand to Trixie. She held it and sat next to him, feeling at peace with the way Firkus said he still loved her. She loved him as well and she knew from the start that something was different about them; they never had a chance to be individuals and learn themselves without each other’s presence. "I'm sorry you and Katya had to find out like this, Trixie. I never wanted you to hate me, I care so much about you," Milk stuttered through sobs. Trixie nodded in response, she knew she couldn’t hate either of them even if she tried. "Do you love her?" Firkus asked, causing her eyes to prickle with unshed tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm late, life wanted to fuck me again, but we're 'h-e-a-r' here now bitches!  
> This chapter is the rollercoaster I was waiting to write. Please let me know if you enjoy it, leave me kudos and comments.  
> I truly enjoy reading and replying to your messages.

Chapter 7: Gypsy

 

"I don't know what possessed you to get us the honeymoon suite but I'm sure glad you did," Katya said, sprawling her body over the fuchsia loveseat. She grabbed a magazine off the coffee table and flicked through it absentmindedly, her thoughts running over Firkus and Trixie. She didn't feel sad about what happened but she also didn't want to seem insensitive. She tossed the magazine aside and looked on as Trixie popped the cork off the wine bottle in a skilled motion. She grabbed the two glasses off the bar and filled them, handing one to Katya before she joined her on the loveseat. "It was a real bummer how it all played out but that doesn't mean we can't celebrate the fact I'm starting this year brand fucking new. What are you looking forward to this year?" Trixie leaned in, eager to hear Katya’s answer despite the blank expression on her face. Katya closed her eyes and thought about it then shrugged her shoulder, "I don’t really know. I guess I just want to take a proper vacation on an island and then find some solid source of happiness in my life for once." Trixie smiled and whispered, "You seem like the happiest person I know, never thought you needed to be any happier than you already are." 

 

Katya gulped her wine and went for a refill. All she wanted to do was tell Trixie to forget whatever was hurting her; she wanted desperately to know what would make Trixie happy so she could be the one to relieve her pain. Trixie liked her, it was all Katya ever wanted since she laid eyes on her; to have her to herself for as long as Trixie wanted her. _What if she didn’t want her? What if she forgave Firkus and all that was said was just in the moment of heartbreak?_ "Bring the bottle mama, I don't know why we're even using these glasses," Trixie called over from the next side of the room. Katya downed whatever was already in her glass and carried the bottle over to Trixie, her body already feeling buzzed from the alcohol. Katya propped her legs on the table and made eye contact with Trixie as she sipped, "I'm not that much older than you but if that's what you're into, I think we could work something out, _little girl_." Trixie choked on the wine as she laughed, spilling some down her chin and onto her grey trench coat, "shit! That's probably gonna stain my threads and you are not getting me to call you _mama_ when we fuck. So kill the idea." Even though Katya laughed, she paid close attention to Trixie's choice of words. She said "when we fuck" and it made Katya anxiously think about what else Trixie looked forward to between them. "Trixie, are you a gay?" Katya asked as seriously as she could but Trixie tossed her head back in laughter. She held Katya's wrist, still laughing as she replied, "no, I'm not _a_ gay, I'm bisexual, thank you very much. What about you witchy woman, are you _a_ gay?" Katya shook her head as she sipped from the bottle, "nope, my sexual expression is fluid, but romantically, I’m only interested in women." Katya knew that people didn't understand her and she usually just lied to avoid debating her sexuality. Trixie nodded in understanding though, mouth around the bottle, giving her a thumbs up. It was the most validating response Katya ever received and she couldn't help but pull Trixie's thumb and make a fart noise with her mouth to show her happiness. They both laughed boisterously, flailing their arms around with tears leaking out their eyes. 

 

Trixie pulled out her guitar and started strumming the song she wrote for her. Katya pulled her tipsy body off the loveseat and started filling the heart shaped tub with hot water. She threw in the red flower petals from the ceramic dish and added the lavender scented oils. She felt Trixie's gaze lingering on her body as she moved around in silence. She wanted the attention and knew that Trixie would give it to her without a second thought. She took two silk robes out of the small closet and laid them on the bed. The party downstairs was beginning to get lively, more voices and louder music could be heard outside. Katya turned on the radio to the _love station_ , as Trixie once called it, and started stripping off her clothes slowly in Trixie's view. She stepped in, sighing with relief as her shoulders submerged in the steaming water, "come on doll, take off the winter gear and get in with me. It'll be our first bath together and I'm kind of excited for this one." Trixie smiled gingerly but did what was asked of her. She set the guitar down and Katya watched as she removed each article of clothing with a shyness she'd never seen before. She savored how cautiously Trixie took off her bra and tried to cover both her nipples with one of her forearms, only for them to spill over. Katya giggled and pointed to Trixie's underwear, signaling her to take it off. Trixie's hand slid the silk panties down her thick legs, exposing her shaved pussy. Katya crossed her legs under the water, squeezing them together to relieve the dull ache between her thighs. She didn't want to have her tonight, not with all that happened. She also didn't want to give in to the feelings she had for Trixie; feelings that only grew since the first time they fucked. She'd been more reckless and irresponsible with random women, a futile attempt at trying to get back to who she was before Trixie. No amount of people and no amount of fucking could make her care less about her. If anything, it sunk Katya deeper into the void of loneliness; back to a place of longing to have something that she thought was a distant memory. 

 

Trixie sat next to her in the tub and rubbed the scented water across the back of Katya's neck, gently massaging her. Katya closed her eyes and allowed her body to relax under Trixie's touch. She could feel her hands wandering lower down her spine as Trixie's warm lips softly pressed against hers. Katya kept her eyes closed and deepened the kiss, turning herself so that her entire body was pressing against Trixie. She would have been fine with kissing her like that forever but it ended as Trixie parted from her to crawl onto the bed, rose petals stuck to her wet skin. Katya followed, resting on her back so she could feel the weight of Trixie on top of her. Katya kissed her with every ounce of passion she had, she needed her to know what she felt for her without words. She pulled away to look at the woman above her, she could have sworn she saw tears welling up in her eyes, "Trix, what's wrong?" Trixie giggled and ran her fingers down Katya's hard stomach, over her swollen clit repeatedly then slipped two of them inside her, moving them in a practiced motion that had Katya's eyes rolling immediately. "Nothing’s wrong," Trixie whispered in her ear while peppering kisses against her neck, "I just like you, Katya, so fucking much. I just want to take care of you for once. I want to make you feel good." Katya couldn't help the high pitched moan that escaped her. The wet sounds of Trixie pushing in and out of her made her throb around her fingers more. She felt it through her entire body; every stroke deep inside her, every breath against her skin, and every kiss from Trixie's soft lips engulfed Katya, overwhelming her senses. "Stop, Trixie, Stop," she felt Trixie pull out of her, looking on worriedly as Katya sat up and continued, "what are we doing? We can't just pretend that nothing's wrong or that you're not going to have to talk to Firkus at some point or that you really like me. I... this isn't real. You're heartbroken and I make you feel good but you don't actually want me. Just… don't use me, I know it's fucking contradicting coming from me, but please, don't. I can't handle a broken heart from you because I really _do_ like you, Trixie." Katya held Trixie's face between her hands, rubbing the tears off her flushed cheeks, "Trixie, I really, really, really like you but look at our lives. You know me and the shit that I do and I know you have to talk to Firkus and who knows what'll happen when you do." Katya could feel the tears falling from her own eyes and onto her legs. She picked up one of the robes and handed it to Trixie before putting on the other. Trixie said nothing, not even when Katya held her in her arms under the covers. Katya waited for Trixie's breathing to even out before she closed her own eyes and made peace with the fact that all she got from her was silence.

...

"Katya, baby, wake up," Trixie kissed her cheek and pushed the wild blonde hair out of her face, "can I borrow your car, please?" Katya yawned and rubbed her eyes until they adjusted to the sunlight in the brightly colored room. "Sure, of course. Where are you going?" Katya asked with puffy eyes darting about Trixie's face. Trixie stared at the woman still cuddled naked in the warm sheets when she replied, "I'm gonna talk to Firkus and try to figure out what the fuck is happening next. I called the manager; they're still at the motel. Look, about last night, I just want you to know that everything I blurted out was..." Katya shushed her, stopping her from continuing, "Trix, it's okay. Just get ready and go talk to him. I’m going back to bed. The keys are over there." Trixie looked in the direction Katya was pointing and saw the hammer and sickle keychain, attached to the keys, on the coffee table. She took one last look at Katya, grabbed the keys and took a swig of last night's wine before heading out. She had the irrepressible feeling that she fucked everything up, that she should have done things differently and save Katya from all of her bullshit. She drove in silence and pulled into the parking lot of the motel, passed Milk's van and parked the car directly in view of Firkus' room. Every step she took after exiting the car was unconsciously done. Her body was on autopilot as her mind ran through all the possible ways the confrontation could go. The last time she was there she could only think of murdering the man she loved and the man she thought was her friend. She stood outside and took a deep breath before knocking. Firkus opened the door and let her in without looking at her, locking the door after she entered the room. Milk sat hunched over on a dining chair in the corner, elbows resting on his legs, face hidden in his palms. "So, are you going to tell me how long I was being made a fool of? Milk, are you going to finally tell me how long you've been fucking him?" Trixie shifted her gaze from Firkus to Milk, his eyes bloodshot from crying. She felt nothing. Firkus walked towards her and tried to hold her hand but she pulled away. "Trixie, Milk and I have been together for a few years now. I... we didn't know how to tell anyone so we just kept it a secret and I love you so much I was afraid to tell you that... that I'm gay. No one knows, Trix," his voice broke as he spoke. "You love me, so you lied to me and cheated on me for years and decided to never tell me? Oh wow, is that love, Firkus?"

 

Trixie started pacing the room trying to calm her breathing. Milk started sniffling and hid his face in his palms again. "Trixie, I still love you and you of all people should know love isn't as simple as it seems. Don't act like you haven't been sleeping around because I know about you and that slut, Katya. When were you going to tell me, huh? If you love me so much, why did you do it?" Firkus shouted at her, hurt and confusion painted on his face. "You don't get to talk about her like that. If it wasn’t for her waiting in that motel for me to talk this out with you, I wouldn’t even be in this fucking room," Trixie responded firmly, pointing her finger in his face. "You didn't even deny it. So you have been sleeping with her. You know what, I guess that's my fault as well and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Trixie, for not being honest with you. I should have told you that I'm in love with Milk. I really do love him Trixie and I love you too, that's never going to change," Firkus sat on the bed and reached out his hand to Trixie. She held it and sat next to him, feeling at peace with the way Firkus said he still loved her. She loved him as well and she knew from the start that something was different about them; they never had a chance to be individuals and learn themselves without each other’s presence. "I'm sorry you and Katya had to find out like this, Trixie. I never wanted you to hate me, I care so much about you," Milk stuttered through sobs. Trixie nodded in response, she knew she couldn’t hate either of them even if she tried. "Do you love her?" Firkus asked, causing her eyes to prickle with unshed tears. She nodded again, unable to say the words out loud. "Have you told her?" He continued, holding her hand with a gentle squeeze. The tears started falling, she quickly wiped them away with a sad smile, "no, I haven't said those words to her, it's not like I ever had the right time to say it and she'll think I'm a fucking lunatic if I tell her now." Firkus pulled her in and kissed her forehead. She missed him already, knowing the sweet man that she once had as her own was no longer hers. She had to learn to comfort herself. She nervously held the back of her neck and closed her eyes, too much was happening too fast and she just needed to be anywhere else but in the room she saw them in, "I'm going back to the motel and get my shit. I guess I'll see you back at the house.”

…

Katya came out of the shower just as anxious as she when she stepped in. She thought the hot stream of water would have calmed her nerves but nothing seemed to work, not even the three cigarettes she chain-smoked outside a few minutes ago. She wrapped her hair in a towel, slipped on the silk robe and draped herself over the loveseat. She knew what she wanted to do, she just wasn’t sure what it will take to make it work. For years she gave up on feelings and commitment and trust, creating the perfect life for herself where she was safe from hurt and disappointment. Women came and left and she never once had any attachment to any of them. She prided herself on her unwavering emotions, even when some of her flings caught feelings for her. It was all a game and relationships didn’t fit well with the way she played. Now, she didn’t know who she was or what she was willing to sacrifice for the sake of one woman; a woman she barely knew but was so attached to she was willing to compromise all that was familiar to her. She stared up at the popcorn ceiling, drifting through her thoughts on how she was going to confront Trixie or react if she decided to get back with Firkus. The click of the door almost went unnoticed until she heard Trixie sighing loudly. She sat up to face her, hesitant to hear what she had to say but curious nonetheless, “What happened, how did it go?” Trixie took off her coat and dropped it on the table near the door before walking towards Katya. She sat on the table directly opposite her, leaning forward so that their knees touched, “Katya, it wasn’t just a onetime thing, he’s in love with Milk and apparently they’ve been together for years. He…” Katya reached out and held Trixie’s knee, encouraging her to continue. “Katya, he… he knew about us and I didn’t deny it when he confronted me about it,” Trixie stared at her, her eyes darting about Katya’s face worriedly, waiting for a response Katya wasn’t sure she had. Instead, she nodded and rubbed slow circles on Trixie’s knee with her thumb. “Katya, he wasn’t even mad or disappointed. He asked me if I… well, if…” Trixie stood up and went to the mini fridge, taking out one of the nips of cheap whiskey and drinking it down.

 

“Trix, you can tell me anything, you don’t have to worry about what I think,” Katya watched her from the sofa; a fresh wave of anxiety washing over her. She desperately wanted one of the nips but decided to stay put, in fear of standing and causing a full-blown panic attack. Trixie sat down in front of her again and held Katya’s hands in hers, “Listen, I know I can tell you anything and you won’t judge me. Just promise me you won’t say a word after I let you know what he asked. I don’t think…” Katya felt nauseous and couldn’t handle listening to her beat around the bush any longer, “Trixie, just tell me, please.” Trixie squeezed Katya’s hands in hers, closed her eyes and breathed out, “he asked me if I loved you.” Katya couldn’t help the shock that was painted on her face, she knew her palms were sweaty and her heart was racing. Trixie stared at her, waiting again for something for something she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear. Katya stayed silent for as long as she could, knowing Trixie specifically asked her to remain quiet after she said what she had to say, but she needed to know, “Well, do you?” Trixie, nodded rapidly, bringing their interlocked fingers up to her mouth to kiss Katya’s knuckles. “I… I… I love you too, Trixie. I didn’t know you… I just thought I was going crazy sitting alone here wondering how I’m going to stop certain things for us to work. I don’t know if I’m good enough for you. I’m so fucked up, my life is fucked up, you know that, right?” Trixie sat on her lap and kissed her forehead repeatedly, “no, you’re not fucked up and yes, you are good enough for anyone, especially me. _You know that right_?” Katya wrapped her arms around her waist and rested her head on her breasts, afraid of what’s to come, but relieved that Trixie felt the same; she loved her and more importantly, Katya felt it. The thought of a relationship, domesticity, and routine made it hard for her to breathe, much less to keep a calm face. She just needed to get through the car ride and relax in the excitement of going home with the woman she declared her love to; the woman who thought her to be deserving of love in return.


	8. Seven Wonders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya couldn't help but think about what she would have been doing if none of these women were in her life. In essence, she built her life around them; women who wanted her but couldn't hurt her. They were so content with their homes and their children and their partners; it was all they had and it was all they needed. If they all left, what would she have? What would she have been doing if she wasn't sitting there staring at their lives go on without her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many emotions... So much fluff and of course, smut ;-)  
> Please leave kudos and comments, I love to read and reply to your feedback.

Chapter 8: Seven Wonders

Katya parked her car in front of Trixie's house and looked over at the sleeping woman beside her; rosy cheeks pressed to the car door, pink lips parted and loose strands of hair falling over her face. She reached over and caressed her cheek with the back of her hand and whispered, "Wake up моя кукла, home sweet home." Trixie's eyes fluttered open, a grin appearing on her face, "Hey blondie, good mornin'," a subtle trace of her Midwestern accent more evident in her voice. "Technically it's _good evening_ , but I'll compromise the world's constructed concept of time for you," Katya unbuckled her seatbelt and stared at the street stretching behind her through the reflection of the rearview mirror. _Sharon opened his front door and was met with an embrace from Alaska, Shea and Sasha were unloading the groceries from their car while Tatianna and her husband walked their dog._ Katya couldn't help but think about what she would have been doing if none of these women were in her life. In essence, she built her life around them; women who wanted her but couldn't hurt her. They were so content with their homes and their children and their partners; it was all they had and it was all they needed. _If they all left, what would she have? What would she have been doing if she wasn't sitting there staring at their lives go on without her?_ She tightened her grip on the staring wheel and closed her eyes on the scene in the mirror. 

 

"What are you thinking about?" Trixie's voice pulled her out if her thoughts and back to the face she fell so in love with. "My life…" she let go of the staring wheel to hold Trixie's cold hand before she continued, "…or lack of one. You know, I admire you two?" Trixie unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to face her, "Firkus and I? Why?" Katya tightened her grip on Trixie's hand and looked through the mirror again, "you both knew what you wanted and even if you hurt each other while doing it, the love and respect are still there between you both." She started the car and turned on the heat, a smile plastered on her face from finally knowing what she wanted; _if they could respect her as their mistress, they could respect her as a friend, right?_ Trixie returned the smile but only for a brief moment, "I honestly can't hate him, I know what it's like to be scared of losing the people you love; you'll work hard to keep them close at all costs. In our case, we had to lie and cheat and put on a brave face for each other because we were scared to lose our best friend." Trixie's face was serious but held no regrets. Katya could feel all the anger release through Trixie's words and a tinge of anxiety kicked in from knowing that this may be the only time they have together before Firkus returned home. She exhaled softly and kissed Trixie's warmed fingertips, "Trix I want to be with you... only you. Not that I want to rush you into anything because, if I'm being honest, I don't want to rush into anything myself. It's just... everything seems so fucking meaningless in my life whenever I lay it all beside the thoughts I have of you. I want to know you, Trixie, I want you to know me apart from my fucking sex crazed moments and the dungeon in my basement. I need you to know me, the boring, soft, simple parts of me that only seem to resurface when you're around." She drove away from Trixie's house and parked in her own driveway, "stay with me until he comes back from the motel, please?" Trixie leaned over and turned off the car, dropping the keys on Katya's lap, "I'll stay with you for as long as you'll have me."

...

The evening passed slowly and quietly. They did everything together in this newfound silence, sharing sweet smiles whenever they caught each other's eyes. Trixie did Katya's laundry and added her own before she started making dinner. Katya vacuumed the rugs and straightened the pillows on the couch before heading to the basement to change the sheets on the bed. With every touch of the fabric, she could feel the anxiety crawling up her chest from deep within her gut. She felt guilty, almost, but more so, she felt afraid. _What if it doesn't work and she ends up alone? What if she gave up everything that felt safe and familiar and never feels that type of comfort again?_ Katya threw the dirty sheets into the laundry basket and ran up the stairs, immediately calmed by the scent of sauteed onions and Trixie's slow singing. She walked up behind her and placed both hands on the counter, on either side of Trixie. Katya couldn't help but grind against her ass that was too big for the gym shorts that barely covered it. She pressed herself against Trixie's back and started kissing her neck in time with the slow motion of her hips, eliciting little moans from her. Trixie pushed her away and continued preparing the meal, avoiding eye contact. Katya sat on the counter and watched the gorgeous woman flutter about her kitchen, bringing her favorite room to life. She could see Trixie's uneasiness whenever she caught Katya staring at her, the way she'd bite her bottom lip and look away. Katya kept her arousal hidden despite Trixie's body, squeezed into her too small clothes, teasing her with every move and pose she made. She hopped off the counter and set the table, planning what she wanted to do to the woman of her dreams in the next room, ignoring the fears that came along with her chase for happiness.

...

Dinner was filled with conversations neither of them dared to have while Trixie was with Firkus. Questions about family, favorite things, spirituality, horoscopes, the future and what they liked and disliked filled the air. Trixie got to see her for the first time, laughing and flailing about while she let her mind run wild and spoke every thought without second-guessing herself. She held Trixie's hand mid-conversation and all she could say was "thank you." Trixie tilted her head to the side, a trace of confusion in her expression, “I’ll cook for you every day if I could, there’s no need to thank me." Katya swooned, she needed her to know but didn't know what she could say to make it more real than it already was, "not for the meal, Trix, for everything. I just love you and I'm happy you're giving me a chance." Trixie smiled, picked up the dirty dishes and the empty wine bottle and headed for the kitchen. Before she left the room, she turned to Katya and responded, "Not everything you deserve you need to say thank you for, unless it's a favor and I'm not doing you any favors."

Katya waited at the table for her to return, planning all the ways she could make the move to get her downstairs. She closed her eyes and replayed the first time they fucked over and over in her mind. She drifted away with the memories of every time after that, the pleasure she felt from seeing Trixie unravel in front of her. A grip on her shoulders pried her eyes open, pulling her back to reality. Her breath hitched as she saw Trixie's naked body leaning into her for a kiss. Katya pushed the chair back and tugged at her waist, making Trixie straddle her on the dining chair. She kissed her sloppily, feeling drunk off of the full lips that were dragging messily across hers. Katya pulled away and watched the string of spit connecting their lips together before taking one of her nipples in her mouth. She could feel the pores on Trixie's skin raise and switched her focus on the other nipple, the drunk feeling never leaving her. She lifted Trixie onto the table and stared at her hungrily, smelling the arousal between her legs. "Take your clothes off," Trixie whispered while tugging at her shirt. Katya slowly stripped off her clothes, watching as Trixie looked at her with lidded eyes, grinding her ass into the table. "Let me fuck you, please baby," Trixie begged with a slight pout on her face, her fingers dipping between her legs.

"You can do whatever you want with me," Katya shuddered as she spoke, Trixie's eyes boring into her as she rubbed her clit teasingly. She leaned in for a kiss only for Trixie to push her away. She came off the table and held Katya's hand to lead her to the bedroom where Trixie had lit the scented candles on the dresser and bedside tables. Katya fell onto the bed and pulled Trixie on top of her. She kissed her again, slowly this time, feeling Trixie's tongue move against hers. Trixie's fingers trailed down to the tuft of hair between her legs, pulling at it until Katya's hips bucked up against her. Katya dug her fingers into the back of her neck, deepening the kiss as Trixie slide two fingers inside her too slowly. She chased Trixie's strokes, trying to get the whole length of her fingers. Trixie sat up without pulling out and allowed Katya to grind down on her fingers. Just as she felt it was deep enough, Trixie roughly added a third, making Katya moan louder than she thought she could. She opened her legs wider and begged, "More please, Trix." Her own desperation sounding foreign to her, she couldn't help the whine in her voice. Trixie leaned in and kissed her, pushing in a fourth finger as she rubbed her thumb over Katya's swollen clit. She was so close; she could feel the pressure building up inside her, almost as if she wanted to pee. She tried to hold it back but Trixie wouldn't let up, curving her fingers up as she fucked her hard. It was too much, her moans turned into shallow breaths as she felt herself coming. Trixie sat up and rubbed her fingers over Katya's clit vigorously as she squirted on her legs and stomach. Trixie lay on top of her and pressed her clit against Katya's, grinding against her through her aftershocks. Katya dug her nails into her back, feeling herself wanting to come again as Trixie humped her. They held each other so tightly, almost as if one of them would float away if they didn't. Trixie's moans drowning out her own as her body moved more erratically. Katya knew she was close and bucked her hip to push Trixie over the edge. The silence before she came was broken with a loud guttural moan that made Katya cum again shortly after. They were spent; sweat covering their bodies as they tried to even out their breaths. Trixie giggled as she rolled off of her, "God, I fucking love you." Katya felt it run through her, her mouth too dry to respond right away as she tried to catch her breath. She squeezed Trixie's hand and turned to face her, a sleepy smile painted on her face. She whispered, "I fucking love you too, doll," against her forehead, kissing her gently before she drifted to sleep.

...

The ringing of the telephone jolted Katya out of her sleep. She stared at the ceiling until the ringing stopped, praying to the universe that the person didn't call back. Almost immediately after it stopped, it started ringing again. She slid her body out of Trixie's grip and padded her way down the hall, "hello?" There was shallow breathing on the other end before the person answered, "I've missed you, all I want is to come over so you can fuck me." Katya leaned against the wall and stared in the direction of the room Trixie was asleep in as she responded quietly, "who is this?" The person moaned then giggled softly, "It's Tatianna, I knew I stayed away too long. Tell me how much you miss me." Katya held the phone too tight and closed her eyes. "I can't tell you that, I'm... I," she stuttered, unable to complete her thoughts, much less her words. She heard a whine and continuous moaning on the other end of the line. The sounds coursed through her body, filling her with memories of their times together. "I get It, you have some bitch over there that's not me. Let her wait, I know how much you wanted to fuck me after you found out I was pregnant. I saw the way you looked at me. Tell me what you wanted to do to me," Tatianna's voice was breathy; she sounded so fucked out already despite Katya's lack of interest. "Um, I'm actually here with my... well, I'm here with this woman that I'm in love with," Katya paced up and down the hallway, pressing the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. "I don't care, just get me off or listen to me get myself off. I... I want you so fucking badly, Katya," Tatianna whispered directly into the phone. Katya smiled, Tatianna's insistence never failed to intrigue her. "Then cum for me then and get the fuck off my line," was all Katya had to say to get Tatianna riled up. Her moans went silent for a little while then grew into her voice panting Katya's name over and over.

"Are you done?" Katya didn't mean it to sound as harsh as it did. "Yeah, thanks for staying up with me. Hopefully, the love of your life didn't miss you too much," Tatianna's voice was back to normal, sarcasm painted in her tone. "Sorry, it's just... it's complicated," was all Katya could muster up as a response, annoyed with herself for still feeling that little pull towards Tatianna. "Well, tell Trixie I said _hi hooker_ and remember she has a boyfriend. I really don't wanna see you get hurt by some flower-child who just wants to play like the rest of us," Tatianna yawned and it spread to Katya, making her eyes water as she tried to hold it back. "They broke up. I don't know if she wants anyone to know about it so I need you to keep that to yourself. I don't know what I'm doing here, I don't want to rush into anything but I don't want to continue fucking around and give her a reason to run away either," Katya finally yawned, the water welling in her eyes blurring her vision for a few seconds before she could focus again. "Katya, you've been head over heels for her since you saw her. Do what feels right and I guess I'm sorry for making you listen to me rub one off over the phone," Tatianna's giggle was interrupted by the creek if a door on her end, "I have to go, Katya. Go cuddle your girl." She hung up, leaving Katya alone and a little too anxious to fall asleep. 

Outside was too cold for her sunrise yoga on the back porch. She opened the blinds and set up her mat in the living room, right where the first rays of sun usually hit and stretched. Everything will make sense if she stopped focusing all her energy on only one aspect. Everything will fall into place if the universe allowed it and so far, positivity was vibrating around her despite the negativity present. She took a deep breath in and allowed her body to contort itself into each pose, gracefully moving as her mind fell at an easy pace of thoughts. The sun peeked through the clouds and although she couldn't feel its warmth, she still felt its embrace and its promise of a new day. She lay on the mat for a few minutes before rolling it back up and heading to the kitchen. Every movement she made was a part of a routine she fell into, except she did it for two now; she buttered four pieces of toast, made eggs for two, poured two mugs of coffee and two glasses of water. She stared through the window at Trixie and Firkus' house; it all seemed too good to be true. _She got the girl._ "So this is how you spy on me?" Trixie's voice startled her. Katya felt her arms wrap around her waist and her warm kisses on her neck. "Mhm, I would look at your house and wonder what it's like to be Firkus. He was the luckiest man I knew, just for being able to see you every day," she wasn't exaggerating, although Trixie's laugh signaled that she thought otherwise. "You're disgustingly sappy this morning, baby, stop it. Thank you for breakfast, I woke up thinking I had to prepare it," she took a seat at the island and began eating. Katya joined her, still glancing out the window occasionally, worried about the permanence of the situation and what will happen when Firkus got back.


	9. Everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The snow had fallen heavily that morning, leaving its white coat on the branches of the tall trees. She breathed in and waited for him to speak, the gushing wind being the only noise around them. "Do you love her?" He asked, giving her a quick glance before returning his eyes forward. Katya nodded furiously, "yes, of course, I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's ooky spooky season and I am temporarily out of my depression to celebrate it with the last chapter. I'm so sorry for ghosting on you and I hope you enjoy the finale.   
> Please leave kudos and comments on what you thought of it.  
> I would really appreciate it, also it might fuel me to write more Trixya fics.

Chapter 9: Everywhere

Milk

"Firkus, listen to me. I can't pretend that this isn't somewhat my fault. Trixie was my friend, so stop acting like I have nothing to lose!" Milk held his chest feeling the tight pull once again. He almost hated himself for the way everything happened despite the fact that Trixie and Firkus were working things out. He knew this would happen at some point in their lives; what's done in the dark will always be brought to the light. He cared about Trixie and he had to make amends with her, especially if his relationship with Firkus was going to work. "Trixie doesn't hate you, Milk, how could she? You're not the one who cheated on her for years, you need to give yourself a break and stop making this about you," Firkus retorted before continuing to pack up their instruments. The tour ended and their stay at the motel was finally over. Being in that room together felt like a torture chamber in hell. It was as if they were being made to relive the moment of Trixie walking in on them over and over again; the biggest sin they've committed against a person they love. _How can he think I'm making this all about me?_ "Do you think I'm an asshole? Do you think I'm that self-centered?" Milk's tears brimmed his eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks. "No, it just seems like you want her to acknowledge you because you don't know where you stand in her life," Firkus said as he walked over to milk and leaned into his neck, nuzzling into the scruff of his beard.

"So, you're saying I'm an attention whore, is that it?" Milk teased, inhaling sharply as Firkus started kissing him. Firkus nodded in agreement as his mouth interlocked with his, eliciting a giggle from Milk; the man he can finally call his own. "If you weren't turning me on so much, I would have been offended," Milk whispered as ran his hands up Firkus' chest. He gripped his shoulders firmly and pushed him down to his knees. Firkus didn't hesitate, unzipping Milk's pants and tugging down his briefs, exposing his semi-hard dick. He wrapped his soft lips around it, circling his tongue around the head. Milk tried desperately to balance himself in the middle of the room, with nothing nearby to hold on to. He ran his fingers through Firkus' curly hair, feeling himself hardening in his mouth. The sound of him gagging as he tried to take the entire length made his toes curl, and his head tilt backward. He wanted the feeling to last longer but he knew he was close. His stomach tightened as he thrust himself deeper into his mouth. Every hum and choke from Firkus made his legs weaker. Milk held his head steady as he fucked his mouth relentlessly, hitting the back of his throat over and over until he was about to cum. "Open that pretty mouth," he gasped as he pulled out, pumping the head if his dick. He came silently, eyes shut tightly as Firkus caught all of it on his tongue. Opening his eyes, he could see Firkus swallowing every bit of it with a devious smile on his face, "let's go home, you owe me one."

Katya

Katya ran down the hall, excited to see Trixie after spending the day without her. She opened the door with a smile, only to see Firkus' face on the other side. "You're back," she blurted without thinking. He gave her a half smile and nodded, "may I speak to Trixie. She's not at home so I figured she's been staying with you?" Katya opened up the door wider, "yeah, she has but she left to meet up with a client this morning. Do you want to come in?" He shook his head and stared in the direction of his house, his eyes following Milk walking up the driveway next door, "no, it's okay. Do you want to take a walk to the lake with me?" Katya took a second to stare at him then agreed, worried about what he wanted to talk about, penalizing herself mentally for believing he wouldn't come back for Trixie.

They walked in silence, the cold wind biting at the tip of her nose. The lake wasn't very far but the quiet stroll seemed to take forever, causing her to lose control of her thoughts. It made her anxious, walking with the man who could end the small bit of happiness she wanted to embrace in her life. The snow had fallen heavily that morning, leaving its white coat on the branches of the tall trees. She breathed in and waited for him to speak, the gushing wind being the only noise around them. "Do you love her?" He asked, giving her a quick glance before returning his eyes forward. Katya nodded furiously, "yes, of course, I do." He looked at her again, a smile appearing on his face this time, "so do I, regardless of every fucking thing that happened." Katya felt that jolt of anxiety again, that fear of losing Trixie too soon. She wanted to hear it all, the full confession of Firkus wanting Trixie back. She looked at him, knowing that that was the man Trixie was in love with once upon a time. She felt herself feeling insecure in his presence, comparing herself to him in ways she shouldn't; _she could never be that tall, that graceful or that brave_. She had to speak her mind before it all came crashing down on her. "You know, we grow up learning that relationships are supposed to be about commitment, compromises, and communication. It's supposed to be challenging and fulfilling at the same time. They don't always work out though, and when that happens we separate. Breaking up is the same process; commit, compromise, communicate, but this time it's supposed to hurt because the aim isn't to grow together but to wither apart. The rules that Hollywood and society gave us are; breakups are messy and if it isn't, then there's a possibility of renewing the relationship. This break up isn't messy, Firkus," Katya stared at him after spilling her thoughts, awaiting his reply. She knew she was ranting but she hoped it all made sense to him. She hoped he could tell she was afraid to lose her.

He gazed off at the frozen lake, contemplating something that was unknown to Katya, yet still filled her with dread. She opened her mouth to speak again but he cut her off with his words, "we're not in Hollywood, Katya, our lives are nothing like the movies we see on screen. I'm a gay man who's afraid to be himself and used his best friend to keep up that secret. I was pretending to be someone I'm not. I was pretending to love her in a way that could never be real between me and any woman. The funny thing is, while I was madly in love with a man, she fell madly in love with you. The funnier thing is that this isn't a breakup; it's Trixie and me actually growing together. This is our new relationship with each other, the one we can finally be honest in. So yes, I guess you're right about one thing, if it doesn't end messily then there's a possibility. Trixie and I have a new start, a chance to try again and be better friends to each other." He turned to face her and held out his hand for her to shake but she gave him a chaste hug instead, letting go quickly in fear of making him uncomfortable. She turned to walk back to the house, allowing the silence to fall between them without worry. Now, she just hoped Trixie felt the same way he did.

Trixie

Trixie drove the rabbit past her house, noticing Milk's van parked in the driveway. She pulled into Katya's, turned off the engine and tried her best to control the wave of emotions washing over her. She took the key out of the ignition, grabbed her purse with clammy fingers and exited the car. The cold air whirred around her as she peered over at the house next door, hoping she saw nothing yet anticipating any sign of movement from Firkus and Milk. She didn't even realize she had stopped walking and was now shifting her weight from one platform boot to the other, staring off at the house in the cold darkness. A loud laugh from a couple of girls in the street snapped her out of her daydream. She turned to face them and they exchanged pleasantries quickly before she paced to Katya's front door. She knocked somewhat cheerfully and smiled as she heard Katya turned and unlatched the locks. "Hey baby, I'm so sorry I took all day," Trixie squealed, wrapping her arms around Katya. She smelled earthy and floral, and Trixie couldn't help but borrow her head into her neck.

"Hey, um... so I invited some guests over for dinner," Katya nervously said as she took Trixie's purse from her hand. She ran over every person Katya would invite over in her mind. She immediately dreaded the idea that one of the women Katya used to fuck in the basement could be joining them for dinner. Even if she knew it could be Tatianna or Alaska, she wouldn't want to have them over after everything that has happened. _What if Katya wanted to go back to the way things were?_ She stared at Katya with a look of confusion, as she locked the door, "who did you invite? Who prepared dinner, you don't even cook?" Katya held her hand and looked at her tenderly, "Firkus and Milk are in the kitchen preparing it now. It's almost done, I already set the table." Trixie pulled her hand away too quickly and forced a smile on her face to make up for her obvious discomfort. She wasn't exactly sure why she was so displeased but something felt wrong in her gut; _why would Katya invite them over? Why would she entertain the men who broke her heart and expect her to be okay with it so soon?_ Katya closed her eyes and folded her arms, shame evident in every move she made, "I knew you'd hate this and I still went ahead with it. I'm sorry, I just thought we could talk and try to be civil. I'm so sorry кукла, forgive me." Trixie listened to her, her Russian accent thick with regret. She wasn't mad at her though, but she still disliked the situation Katya had put her in. "Just, let me take a warm shower. Tell them I'll be ready for dinner in fifteen minutes," she responded abruptly before storming off to the bedroom. She knew Katya would think she was upset because she ignored her apology and plea for forgiveness. It didn't matter what Katya felt at the moment though, all Trixie wanted to focus on was not having an emotional breakdown during dinner.

...

Trixie stepped out of the shower and quickly got dressed in a dusty pink turtleneck and denim overalls. She remained barefoot and kept her freshly washed hair in a loose bun on top of her head. The house was warm and the crackling of the fireplace was being drowned out by the laughter coming from the kitchen. She stood in the hallway for a few seconds, trying desperately to even out her breathing before she walked into the kitchen. Katya and Firkus were sat at the island, their backs facing Trixie. Milk was pouring wine on the other side and made eye contact with her as she walked in silently. "Trixie, hey, good evening," he blurted out nervously. His eyes darted toward Firkus and Katya as they turned around to face her. Katya hopped off the stool and handed her a glass of wine before tiptoeing to kiss her on her cheek, "dinner's already on the table," she whispered before she picked up her own glass and the bottle. Firkus was the only one with a seemingly genuine smile on his face, "Milk and I made sure the entire meal was vegetarian, I hope it's as tasty as it looks." He and milk grabbed their glasses and headed toward the dining table. Everything looked delicious and she felt a pang of rage hit her when she thought about all the times she had to slave in the kitchen for Firkus. He never prepared a meal for them while they were together all those years; at least nothing like what was spread before her. Before sitting, she held Katya's hand and kissed her knuckles, making the smaller woman blush beautifully; the pink rising to her cheeks instantly. "Thank you for dinner, it looks lovelier than most dinners I've ever prepared for any of you," Trixie stated somewhat dryly toward the men at the table. Everyone felt the passive aggression in her voice but no one dared to make a comment, in fear of making it worse.

Firkus

The air was dank with conversations left unspoken. Although dinner had just started, the awkward silence felt impenetrable and Firkus couldn't stand it much longer, "I heard you met with a client today, Trix, how was it?" He looked at her, genuinely interested in hearing about her work. She grinned before speaking and it warmed his heart, "It went amazingly actually. They heard Red Side of the Moon, the song I performed for Katya at our Christmas party, and loved it after hearing it once. They even agreed to publicly credit me as the songwriter without me suggesting it." Milk and Katya clapped and congratulated her and he couldn't help but join in. "I knew that song was written for someone special, I just didn't know who they could be at the time. It's a beautiful song," Firkus smiled as he continued to eat the herb encrusted salmon. He could see Katya blushing behind her wine glass as she took a sip. "I felt every word of that song through my veins and I didn't even know for certain that it was for me. I can say it was too much to hear at the time, I was so overwhelmed with the rawness of it all," Katya admitted, reaching out her hand to hold Trixie's briefly.

Firkus noticed how quiet Milk kept; limiting his gestures and smiles so as not to draw too much attention to himself. He ate slowly and drank even slower, probably afraid to reach for a refill. Firkus topped up his glass and winked at him sweetly, causing Milk to chuckle softly. "You're usually not the quiet type, Milk. I almost forgot you were here," Trixie stopped eating and focused on the man sitting on the other side of the table. Firkus stared at him too, trying to reassure him that everything's fine. Milk smiled then spoke to Trixie, "my head must be in the clouds. Are you enjoying dinner? I hope the salmon isn't too rich, I went a bit heavy handed on the seasoning." Firkus rubbed his leg against Milk's under the table and continued eating. "It's pretty good. I didn't know you fuckers could cook; I would have liked to taste it sooner. I guess sharing dick does take up time that could be spent on prepping meals," she spat out the words with the sweetest smile on her face and a wink towards Firkus. Firkus gave her a disapproving look she should know all too well. He hated her being so vulgar but then realized he was the only one who felt that way. Milk choked on his wine and couldn't contain his coughing and laughing. Katya burst out in laughter as well, one hand trying to prevent the vegetables from escaping her mouth. He looked around the table, knowing he was the only one who didn't find it funny but decided to join in the excitement anyway. It'll take time before he could accept the gay jokes, especially from Trixie, but he knows that it isn't from a place of hate. She didn't hate him, no one at the table did. He stared at her; the way she grabbed hold of Katya's hand while they laughed, the lingering stares when they catch each other's eyes. He held Milk's hand and whispered, "say what you have to say now, don't keep it in anymore."

Milk

The laughter died down and Milk could feel the anxiety like a heat wave over his body. He sipped his wine and looked at Trixie as she conversed quietly with Katya, giggling at whatever sweet things the Russian woman whispered to her. He cleared his throat and got everyone's attention, regretting it for a fraction of a second as he made eye contact with Trixie. "Trix, um... I just wanted to say that I am so ashamed of the way things happened and I'm more afraid of losing your friendship than anything else," he paused to wipe his tears before continuing, "I'm sorry, I really am. You have always been there for me, unconditionally. You've let me into your home, fed me, loved me and I kept the darkest secret from you in return. I just want to ask for your forgiveness and, if it's not too much, your friendship. I need you just as much as I need Firkus. It won't be easy without you." He wiped his tears, worried about sounding like the self-centered asshole Firkus made him out to be. The room fell silent and Trixie wiped away her tears quietly before standing up and heading his direction. He stood up to face her, bracing for a slap to the face or the lash of her tongue. Instead, she hugged him, a soft hug that felt to light on his body. He squeezed her in return mumbling how sorry he was against her shoulder. "I forgave you already, Milky. I honestly lost the rage because of her," she paused to gesture at Katya, "I wanted to be mad and disgusted and unforgiving but she lightened my heart. I can't hate you or you, Firkus. You're my family, I need you, all of you... you too Katya." Milk hugged her one more time before she sat back down and kissed Katya deeply. He grabbed Firkus' hand and kissed his knuckles, grateful for what was planted between them at that moment, excited to see how beautiful it grows.

Katya

"So, how was dinner," Katya asked Trixie, watching as the smiling woman slipped off her overalls and threw them on the other side of the couch. "Dinner was amazing, they can actually cook! I hate them more for not cooking for me than for cheating on me, to be honest," Trixie giggled, sitting on Katya's lap, the wine bottle she took from the dining table dangling from her fingers loosely before she took a sip. Katya traced the stretch marks running up Trixie's thighs, "I'm happy you enjoyed it. I was afraid you'd be upset with me but I needed us all to be together. I know you still love them." In her own thoughts, Katya knew that she had grown fond of the company; looking forward to knowing them better and finally being a part of a unit she could call a family. Trixie took another sip and licked her lips slowly, "I wish I was upset with you, the sex tonight would have been disgusting and rough." Katya's eyes narrowed, her grip on Trixie's hip tightened, "that could be arranged." She felt the subtle swivel of the other woman's hips on her lap; the movement caused Katya's breath to hitch. She ran her fingers up to Trixie's waist, gripping it as she raised her chin to kiss her. Trixie leaned in; brushing her lips against Katya's then pulled away with a giggle. She hopped off her lap and took a swig from the bottle before handing it to Katya, pouting her lips in an attempt to persuade Katya to drink. "If I'm drunk my dick won't last very long," Katya joked after gulping down the warm liquid. "It's a good fucking thing you don't have one then," Trixie retorted before removing the rest of her clothes. Her movements were painfully slow; each item of clothing was taken off teasingly and tossed aside. Katya's eyes raked over the length of her body, taking in every curve as she stripped.

When she was done, she crawled over to Katya and kneeled in front of her. Her hands quickly unbuttoned her jeans and threw them across the floor. Katya took another gulp of wine, trying her hardest to keep her cool, wanting to seem in control despite the naked woman staring up at her with lidded eyes. She looked on as Trixie pinched her own nipples and bit her lips before removing Katya's underwear, exposing how wet she actually was. "Hmm, someone wants me more than they want to show," Trixie whispered, reinforcing the messy bun on her head. She pulled Katya to the edge of the couch and licked up the length of her pussy, gathering her wetness on her tongue before spitting it back into her hole. She slipped two fingers in and fucked her as her tongue worked her clit. Katya fought to stay silent, desperately begging for her to do it harder. Trixie added a third and used the fingers of her free hand to cover Katya's mouth, muffling her moans. Katya pushed her hand away, repeating over and over how close she was to cumming. Trixie pulled out and grinned, leaving Katya on edge, her clit swollen and her cunt throbbing. "Stand up," Trixie commanded. Katya stood up and took off the rest of her clothes as Trixie kneeled on the couch, ass up in the air. Katya palmed it softly before slapping it teasingly. She could hear Trixie wince at the superficial pain and it excited her. She kissed the spot she had just hit and caressed it, only to slap it again, harder this time. 

Trixie's back arched and her moans grew louder. Every slap to her already sore skin felt more and more painful. She didn't dare to stop Katya though, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to endure the stinging of her flesh. "Shhh... you took it like a good girl," Katya whispered in her ear, causing Trixie to smile at her praise. "Strap up for me, please," Trixie begged in a voice too innocent for what she was asking for. Katya walked away and got what she wanted; tightly harnessing Trixie's favorite toy to her body. She walked into the living room, drinking in the sight before her; fingers slowly going in and out while she was on all fours, preparing herself for what's to come. She didn't even notice Katya until she moved her hands and slid the strap inside her. The alcohol coursing through their veins made the world around them nonexistent. They were too drunk to care about being graceful in their movements and the volume of their moans. Every motion felt intense; every grab, stroke, kiss and embrace felt magnified and almost unworldly. Hearing Trixie's screams for it to be harder, deeper and faster fueled the monster in Katya. She heeded her every word, fucking into her wildly, relishing on the sound of her name being screamed by the woman she loved, who was unraveling before her eyes. Watching Trixie cum made Katya's hips move more erratically. She tried to hold back but the throbbing feeling in her cunt was too much to ignore. She came hard; draping her body over Trixie's back as she regained her breathing.

…

Katya snuggled into Trixie and closed her eyes. Tiredness swept over her body but her mind was busy at work. She wrapped her legs around Trixie's soft waist, desperately attempting to press herself closer. It's hard to explain it, that yearning she felt to be filled up by her. It's weird to try and explain it in words but in her mind, it made so much sense. Even while Trixie was deep inside of her, she wanted to feel more. When they're done and wrapped in each other’s arms she still felt as if they weren't close enough. It's a foreign feeling to have; craving a person's touch yet, when they're apart, she's never felt alone. Loneliness never crept up on her when Trixie's not around because she knows that she will come back. She can feel it in her heart that she wouldn't be hurt or abandoned or unloved. It's new not having to pretend to herself that she was content with the life she had. She could barely remember why she kept chasing women she never wanted for more than a few hours. She let her mind drift to the first time they met, the feeling of intrigue and excitement when she saw the tall woman in the white platform boots and the psychedelic dress. She remembered how badly she wanted her and the instant connection she felt when they exchanged words. Now she had her, body to body, listening to the soft breaths escape her lips as she slept. None of them could have planned it the way it all happened but, as messy as it played out, she wouldn't have changed any of it. Who knows how long the bliss would last or what challenges they would face, all Katya knew was that gut feeling of wanting to be with her, through it all. 


End file.
